Kids and the Bible
Humor

Some Catholic school kids were asked questions about the Bible. Here are some of their actual, unedited responses:

+Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark which the animals came on to in pears.

+Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.

+Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like Delilah.

+The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten amendments.

+The seventh commandment is though shalt not admit adultery.

+Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led he Hebrews in the battle of Geritol.

+The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.

+David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

+Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

+When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.

+Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

+Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you. He also explained "a man doth not live by sweat alone"

+The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. The epistles were the wives of the apostles.

+One of the opossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan.

+St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

+Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony.