A Heavy Burden: Hopefully There Will Be Many Shoulders

What follows below is the account of Saint Teresa of Avila's "conversion" in her Autobiography mentioned below. This took place following her meditation on the Wounds and Passion of Our Lord. It's very beautiful to consider how meditating on the sufferings and Passion of Christ has such powerful, sanctifying effects on the soul.

Saint Augustine said a single tear shed for the Passion of Our Lord is worth more than a year of fasting on bread and water. And Saint Albert the Great said that one who meditates on the Passion of Christ gains more merits than if he had recited the whole book of the Psalms everyday. A February 27 sermon on this can be found here.

Chapter IX. The Means Whereby Our Lord Quickened Her Soul, Gave Her Light in Her Darkness, and Made Her Strong in Goodness.

1. My soul was now grown weary; and the miserable habits it had contracted would not suffer it to rest, though it was desirous of doing so. It came to pass one day, when I went into the oratory, that I saw a picture which they had put by there, and which had been procured for a certain feast observed in the house.

It was a representation of Christ most grievously wounded; and so devotional, that the very sight of it, when I saw it, moved me--so well did it show forth that which He suffered for us.

So keenly did I feel the evil return which I had made for those wounds, that I thought my heart was breaking. I threw myself on the ground beside it, my tears flowing plenteously, and implored Him to strengthen me once for all, so that I might never offend Him any more.

2. I had a very great devotion to the glorious Magdalene, and very frequently used to think of her conversion--especially when I went to Communion. As I knew for certain that our Lord was then within me, I used to place myself at His feet, thinking that my tears would not be despised.

I did not know what I was saying; only He did great things for me, in that He was pleased I should shed those tears, seeing that I so soon forgot that impression. I used to recommend myself to that glorious Saint, that she might obtain my pardon.

3. But this last time, before that picture of which I am speaking, I seem to have made greater progress; for I was now very distrustful of myself, placing all my confidence in God. It seems to me that I said to Him then that I would not rise up till He granted my petition. I do certainly believe that this was of great service to me, because I have grown better ever since. [1]

St. Teresa Of Avila. The Autobiography of St. Teresa Of Avila: By St. Teresa Of Avila - Illustrated (pp. 47-48). Kindle Edition.