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BCP: Three letters on the purity of heart (The second letter – To married couples)

To speak about sexuality in the way the mass media and Western pseudo-culture present it means to accept their false, decadent view.

Civilized Europe and America were built on Christian foundations. A healthy family founded on lifelong marital fidelity and indissolubility of the marriage bond has always been the basic cell. When St Vladimir, ruler of Kievan Rus, embraced Christianity, he dismissed his three wives and all concubines and remained faithful to one wife until his death.

Jesus said about marriage: “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh” (Mt 19:5), one being. “What God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mt 19:6) Marriage is therefore raised to the dignity of a sacrament and is associated with indissolubility. Making marriage vows before God, the couple promise to stay together for better for worse until death do them part.

When asked why Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and to dismiss his wife, Jesus replied that it was a concession to the hardness of human hearts.

In the Russian folk song “Step da step krugom” (Steppe All Around), a man dying far from home says goodbye to his wife in spirit, looking at the wedding ring. Aware of his approaching death, he confesses before God that he remained faithful to his wife all his life.

In the Russian nation, just as in the time of Christ, children are given a patronymic in addition to their first name. So the son’s name is, for example, Andrei Ivanovich, the daughter’s name is Oksana Ivanovna, etc. This emphasizes the father’s authority. The man should be the head of the family and the woman should be the heart. As a mother, she creates a home atmosphere of selfless love. Parental love involves sacrifice, which is daily required of the mother and not only of her but also of the responsible Christian father.

The break-up of a family not only causes deep wounds to children’s minds and souls, but is also the picture of death for the married couple. That is why two of God’s commandments in the Decalogue address this issue.

For more than half a century, almost all films, especially ones of the Western world, have inculcated in the minds of the younger generation that divorce is the solution to all problems and has become almost fashionable. We are reaping the fruits of this pernicious thinking: a sea of suffering, experienced especially by innocent children. Ultimately, divorce also results in economic damage.

Today, even young children watch demoralizing programmes on the Internet which morally devastate them. And the most terrible thing is that these perversions are now imposed on them directly at school in so-called sex education classes. Moreover, they are motivated to undergo so-called hormonal therapy and sex reassignment surgery. These are the most serious crimes against the younger generation! Therefore, there is a need for a change! Children at school must be motivated to adopt sound moral principles for their future life.

The gravest crimes against parents and children are being legalized by supranational conventions reflected in state laws! It concerns legalization of the stealing of children from their families. This organized supranational crime leads to the self-destruction of individual nations. True family policy reform requires that all these anti-laws be repealed and replaced by new just laws that will guarantee real parental rights. Unless Russia and other nations make pro-family policy a priority, they will cause the gradual suicide of their own nation!

Adultery has its root in impure thoughts and daydreams, which are stirred up even more by pornography, immoral films... The Apostle reveals the greatness of our dignity, which we often forget: “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? Certainly not! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? But he who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him. Flee sexual immorality! Every other sin that a man commits is outside the body.” (1Cor 6:15-18)

Sexuality has been separated from love and procreation. In marriage, a man and a woman mature into a responsible father and mother first by transmitting life and second, being Christian parents, by enabling their children to be grafted into the life of God through Holy Baptism. They are then obliged to provide a sound upbringing for their children both by word and example. Polygamy and extramarital cohabitation, adultery and divorce are grave offences against sacramental marriage.

God who created man also established rules for the transmission of life. A man has about one million of tiny cells called sperm. If one of these sperm cells fertilises a woman’s egg during marital intercourse, after nine months a baby is born. It is amazing that the child’s head, hands, feet, eyes, or even appearance and character traits inherited not only from its father but even from grandparents generations back are already hidden in a small seed almost invisible to the human eye.

We live in an era of technological advancement. Electronic devices enable to store a vast amount of information in a tiny space and quickly search for it again. However, progress is in many ways exploited to foster the self-destruction of humanity: artificial intelligence, 5G networks, nanochips aimed to track humans and turn them into biorobots deprived of all freedom. And yet this science, which is useful in many ways, for all its perfection, is unable to produce an ordinary grain of wheat that would have life in it and pass on this life according to the underlying genetic codes. All electronics and all human technology is child’s play compared with a living seed.

How does a baby develop in the womb? This is not planned or influenced by the mother. She does not determine when the head, arm or leg develops. She does nothing. These are the laws established by God rather than by man or by chance. It happens in certain stages and the mother’s will cannot affect it. It is a tragedy that there are “drugs” that are consciously produced to interfere with a child’s development, or even drugs contained in abortion pills that kill an unborn child!

God has put the gift of the transmission of life in animals too. Animals have a body endowed with senses, but they do not have an immortal soul and spirit like humans.

At the moment of conception, God intervenes and puts a spirit in the living matter. Man is thus made to be like God. His life in the human body perhaps lasts 70 to 80 years. Then he dies, but the human spirit is immortal. That is why we call God our Father, because from Him we have our physical life which He has given us through our parents, as well as our spiritual life which comes directly from Him.

Childbirth is painful for a mother. A healthy child is a great gift. However, when a disabled child is born, the cross to bear can be turned into a great good.

A young couple whose second child was born disabled carried the cross with self-sacrificing love, which also strengthened their marriage. While many of their peers had been divorced, their mutual love matured deeply through sacrifice. They are happy, and so are their two children.

It is a tragedy that today the health of young children is being systematically destroyed. They are given harmful vaccines immediately after birth which weaken their immunity or cause diseases such as autism or others; some children even die from vaccines.

Doctors with a pro-abortion spirit force almost every woman who is expecting a child to have an abortion. Especially if a woman is pregnant with her third or fourth child, they literally threaten her that she must have an abortion, otherwise the child will be affected with Down syndrome and the like.

A woman expecting her second child was forced by a doctor to have an abortion. Her first child was born by caesarean section. The psychological pressure was very strong. The mother tried to resist saying that their first child was only born several years after marriage, and that it indeed was a miracle. The doctor cynically replied, “Unless you have an abortion, your miracle will be left motherless.” When the expectant mother replied, “I am aware that I can die,” the doctor literally shouted at her, “Not that you can, but the ambulance won’t even be quick enough to take you away!” However, the mother did not succumb to the pressure and eventually gave birth to a healthy child.

A wise pharmacist came into contact with young pregnant women naively trusting in their gynecologist who tried to talk them into an abortion. The pharmacist, however, tried to encourage and persuade them not to have an abortion in any case. The happy mums then often stopped at the pharmacy with their prams and showed the pharmacist their healthy newborns.

Parent-child relationship

Young people go through puberty, an irresponsible period when they live in a world of unreality and a false outlook on life. They are easily manipulated by their illusions. Then, when they marry and have a child, they are suddenly put in a new situation requiring a tremendous amount of self-discipline. Day-to-day care for the child gradually changes a starry-eyed girl into a devoted mother, and a carefree young man becomes a mature father, the provider fully responsible for the family. The child falls ill, cries at night, the parents cannot sleep, the lifestyle of watching the Internet and their entertainment is reduced to a minimum or zero. Babies have their daily routine, they must feed frequently, have their nappies changed, be given a bath, be put to sleep. The child becomes the centre of life and completely shatters the illusions of fresh parents.

Two young mothers shared their experiences, and the one who already had an older child taught the one who had a newborn and was exhausted by constant care for him. The parents could not sleep because the baby often cried loudly at night, wanted to be given attention and to be carried in arms. She told her: “You find it difficult because you still want something of your own, you still think of yourself, you have your own wishes, and that’s why it’s hard for you. Once you stop revolving around yourself and start revolving around your child, as if you ceased to exist, nothing will be hard for you anymore.” In fact, she told her that she must completely renounce herself and live only for her child. That is true motherly love.

A young mother must realize that her role is to create a home for her child and her husband. The mother and father create an atmosphere of unity and love in which the child can grow into a mature personality. The child needs both parents, and the couple should be deeply aware of that. The couple may go through hard times in their marriage when they may even think of divorce, but in view of their responsibility for their child they should not even admit the idea of divorce! If there are hurt feelings on one or the other side, they need to learn to forgive each other, and either of them must be self-critically aware of their guilt and not just see the guilt of the other. This is what the Gospel teaches us. When He was crucified, Jesus Himself prayed: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”

At a moment of crisis, when the spouses hurt each other’s feelings, the husband decided to leave the family. As the woman realized it, she was very sorry for what she had caused. She telephoned him, crying and begging him to return, but reconciliation was not so easy. The next day, she gave the phone to their four-year-old son, who began to speak about how they were waiting for Daddy and how they wanted to show him all that he and his younger brother had created with their construction set. Daddy came back the next day and stayed.

The separation of parents causes children intense pain. The greater the harmony between the parents, the happier the children. Such children experience a real home. When parents divorce and start new relationships, they dedicate the love that should have belonged to their children to another person. Their own children are robbed of it, they lose their home, feel unwanted and like a burden. That is why many children end up on the streets, join street gangs, and become addicted to drugs, alcohol, immorality or crime. Some even think of suicide. All this is a result of losing their home.

How important it is for young people to know and adhere to wise and well-established principles that have always created healthy relationships between spouses and a warm home. Christianity has always instructed believers in these principles. Jesus Christ elevated marriage to a sacrament. Christian couples take a vow in the church before God that they will stay together through good and bad times until death.

One of thousands of cases of marital fidelity: After about 15 years of marriage, a mother of three children fell ill. She suffered a spinal cord injury which left her half-paralysed. Every day her husband came home from work, he would wheel her down the street. One day his friend told him in a private conversation: “You should find another woman. You can marry again, you’re still young; why should you live with a cripple?” He got angry and said: “I promised before God and the witnesses to stay with her for better and for worse until death. Besides, I would set a bad example to our children if I left their mother.” Indeed, he remained faithful to his wife until death.

Marital love has its stages. Physical love which prevails in youth later grows into a deep friendship, unity of souls, and finally matures into a unity of spirit in old age. An elderly man testifies: “Looking back to my childhood years, I remember an elderly couple living in our street. The old man had gone blind and they could not live without each other. One day he died peacefully. His wife could not attend the funeral due to her old age. When the family returned from the funeral, they found the old woman dead. The next day her body was placed in an open grave beside her husband.”

Another couple raised five children. They were in their sixties. The husband died unexpectedly, and within hours his wife died of grief. When the funeral procession came out of their house, they were carrying two coffins. First, they went to the local church, the place where several decades ago, as a young couple, they had promised God that they would never leave each other. They were then taken from the church to the cemetery in a procession and buried in a grave together. The couple went through many sufferings and trials in their lives, but they supported each other, and never left each other. The crosses strengthened their bond of selfless love. Today, unfortunately, consumer society, hedonism and cynicism destroy not only marital happiness but also the family as such. Generations of our Christian ancestors were able to keep their lifelong marriage vows until death. Today, however, everything is moving towards the complete destruction of the family as the basic cell of society. A shattered person is unhappy. Unfortunately, this current system strongly affects you, dear young people. To be truly happy, you must break with this delusion of various theories and ideologies. Otherwise, your life will end in a tragedy.

Children should be trained in responsibility, honesty, true heroism, sacrifice, obedience and respect for parents both at home and at school. Young people should be prepared for a responsible marital life and parenthood. The role of Christianity is to emphasize the spiritual dimension. Youth distorted by the promotion of sin with the false ideals of rock stars enslaved by drug addiction or perversions can by no means be a model. Sexuality has its place only in a proper marriage. Outside marriage it is a force that destroys true happiness and human relationships. It is indeed a tragedy that the Jesuit J. Martin and the current invalid Pope Bergoglio are pushing for the legalization of sodomy and other moral perversions in the Church. It is necessary to return to the true faith of our Christian ancestors, which ensures true morality and happiness both here and after death.

+ Elijah

Patriarch of the Byzantine Catholic Patriarchate

+ Methodius OSBMr + Timothy OSBMr

Secretary Bishops

28 September 2020

The Byzantine Catholic Patriarchate (BCP) is a community of monks, priests and bishops living in monasteries. The BCP is headed by Patriarch Elijah with two Secretary Bishops, +Timothy and +Methodius. This Patriarchate arose from the need to defend the fundamental Christian truths against heresies and apostasy. The BCP does not recognize pseudo Pope Bergoglio and is not subordinate to him.

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