Wedding at Cana- Spouses Make Vow of Continence (Abstinence).
[The Result of Having Purity Incarnate and His Most Pure Mother as Wedding Guests]
From the Revelations of Blessed Anne Catherine Emmerick:
### The Vow of Continence at the Wedding Feast of Cana
At the wedding in Cana (Vol. 2), the bridegroom (Nathanael, later called Amator) and bride took
a vow of continence after experiencing a transformative prize in a game arranged by Jesus—a
dual fruit symbolizing chastity. This occurred post-banquet, inspired by Jesus' teachings on
marriage and purity.
Full passage: "At the close of the banquet, the bridegroom went to Jesus and spoke to Him very
humbly in private. He told Him that he now felt himself dead to all carnal desires and that, if his
bride would consent, he would embrace a life of continence. The bride also, having sought
Jesus alone and expressed her wish to the same effect, Jesus called them both before Him. He
spoke to them of marriage, of chastity so pleasing in the sight of God, and of the hundredfold
fruit of the spirit. He referred to many of the Prophets and other holy persons who had lived in
chastity, offering their bodies as a holocaust to the Heavenly Father. They had thus reclaimed
many wandering souls, had won them to themselves as so many spiritual children, and had
acquired a numerous and holy posterity. Jesus spoke all this in parables of sowing and reaping.
The young couple took a vow of continence, by which they bound themselves to live as brother
and sister for the space of three years. Then they knelt before Jesus, and He blessed them."
After the miracle of water to wine, they joined the disciples, received baptism, and fulfilled their vow, later becoming missionaries.
### Duties of Husbands and Wives in Marriage
Emmerich describes marriage as a penitential state requiring mutual self-denial,
spiritual focus, and alignment with divine law. Duties are drawn from Jesus' teachings, examples
of holy couples (e.g., Joachim and Anne, Mary and Joseph), and reconciliations of sinful unions.
These emphasize continence (abstinence from sexual relations, especially after conception or
as penance), chastity (purity in thought and action), obedience (to God and marital vows),
poverty (detachment from material excess through almsgiving and frugality), and other
responsibilities.
#### Mutual Duties (Shared by Husband and Wife)
These form the core of marital life, viewing marriage as a "state of penance" and a "warfare
against sin."
- Recognize marriage as a penitential state: "Marriage is a state of penance. It demands prayer,
fasting, alms-deeds, renunciation, and the intention to increase the Kingdom of God." (Vol. 3, p.
504)
- Engage in constant warfare against sin: "In marriage there should be no question of sensual
gratification, but only of penance and mortification, of constant fear, of constant warfare against
sin and sinful desires, and this warfare is best carried on by prayer and self-conquest." (Vol. 3,
p. 504)
- Practice continence and chastity: "He rigorously commanded perfect continence after the
period of conception." (Vol. 3, pp. 515–516); "Continence, prayer, and discipline have produced
holy men and Prophets." (Vol. 3, p. 312); "They must be willing to sacrifice for God and the
neighbor... He taught under manifold similitudes upon the chastity, modesty, and self-conquest
that should grace the married state." (Vol. 3, p. 511)
- Live modestly and chastely for children's salvation: "If married people would live together
modestly and chastely, if they would recognize their state as one of penance, then they would
lead their children in the way of salvation." (Vol. 3, p. 506)
- Exercise self-command and moderation: "Marriage... could produce pure, sweet fruit only
when it was guarded by self-command, mortification, and moderation united to pain and labor."
(Vol. 3, p. 509)
- Separate good from evil through prayer and renunciation: "In human nature much evil is mixed
with good, but that by prayer and renunciation the two must be separated and the evil subdued.
All that is superfluous brings with it sin and sickness, becomes deformity and abomination." (Vol.
3, p. 312)
- Aim at purity of intention in all actions: "He inculcated the observance of modesty and purity,
bade them in all their actions to aim at purity of intention, exhorted them to prayer and
renunciation." (Vol. 3, pp. 515–516)
- Reflect on posterity and salvation: "He questioned them upon their motives in entering the
married state, whether they had reflected upon their posterity and the salvation of the same,
which was a fruit springing from the fear of God, chastity, and temperance." (Vol. 3, p. 393) Avoid incontinence and control appetites: "Beauty inflames concupiscence, and
concupiscence corrupts the soul. Incontinence is like a creeping plant that chokes and destroys
the wheat and the vines." (Vol. 3, pp. 514–515); "They who say that they are chaste, but who
eat and drink only what pleases their appetite, are like those that try to extinguish a fire with dry
wood." (Vol. 3, p. 470)
- Practice obedience to divine law and spiritual direction: "The Blessed Virgin was begotten by
her parents in holy obedience and complete purity of heart." (Vol. 1, p. 138; context: Joachim
and Anne's conception of Mary as fruit of obedience.)
- Embrace poverty through frugality and almsgiving: "They lived very frugally and gave to all that
asked help." (Context: Ancestral couples like Ismeria and Eliud); "They divided them into three
parts, and drove the best to the Temple. The poor received the second part, and the worst was
retained for themselves." (Joachim and Anne's distribution of goods); "Jesus imposed upon
those guilty of adultery, as penance, alms, fasts, continence, and prayer." (Vol. 3, p. 406)
- Avoid mixed or unlawful marriages: "He warned them likewise against such marriages with the
heathens as those in which both parties, indifferent to religion, enter into wedlock merely for the
sake of property and money, greater freedom, and the gratification of passion." (Vol. 3, p. 408);
"He explained to the man who, after having married five sisters was now about to espouse the
sixth, that such unions were unlawful." (Vol. 3)
- Reconcile after separation or discord: "Married couples living apart were again united by
Jesus." (Vol. 3); "He gave decisions upon many questions and doubts concerning the Law and
marriage and reconciled some married couples that were at variance." (Vol. 3)
- Perform penance for sins like adultery: "He imposed upon those guilty of adultery, as penance,
alms, fasts, continence, and prayer." (Vol. 3, p. 406)
- Live in continence after vocation or as example: "Zacheus... gave up his business... and went
with his wife (with whom he henceforth lived in continence) to another place." (Vol. 3);
"Matthew... was a married man. His wife was a very virtuous person, and, since Matthew’s
vocation, they had lived in perfect continency." (Vol. 3, pp. 488–489)
- View marriage as a mystery and union with God: "He spoke of the sanctification of marriage by
the observance of the Divine Law, moderation, and continency... He called marriage a great
mystery." (Vol. 3, pp. 388–389)
#### Specific Duties of the Wife
- Endure suffering and preserve harmony: "Wherever discord reigned in the married state and
wherever marriage failed to produce good, pure fruit, the fault lay principally on the wife's side. It
is for her to endure and to suffer, it is for her to form, to preserve, the fruit of marriage." (Vol. 3,
p. 504)
- Practice modesty and continency: "He instructed the women on marriage inculcating modesty
and continency." (Vol. 1, p. 463)
- Forgive and revoke curses in reconciliation: "The wife of one of the faithless husbands
solemnly revoked the malediction that she had pronounced upon the illegitimate children." (Vol.
3, p. 406; context: After husband's adultery)
- Secure victories for children through self-conquest: "Such struggles against self, such victories
over self on the mother’s part, secure similar victories to her children." (Vol. 3, p. 504)
#### Specific Duties of the Husband
- Forgive adultery and reconcile: "Her husband, who knew nothing of what was transpiring, was
sent for... He wept, and his wife... confessed her guilt... The husband, deeply moved, reached
out his hand to his penitent wife... He forgave and forgot with all his heart." (Vol. 2, pp. 381–382;
context: Eliud and his wife's reconciliation)
- Lead in monogamy and continence: "He always insisted on continence and the obligation of
having but one wife." (Vol. 2, p. 336)
- Provide spiritual guidance: Husbands are implied as heads in teachings on unity and
reconciliation, e.g., joining hands in renewed vows. (Vol. 3)
#### Influence of Parental Virtues on Children
- Purity and continence benefit offspring: "I received at this time an instruction upon the great
influence exerted upon children by the purity, the continence, and the mortification of parents."
(Vol. 1, p. 138); "The great influence exerted upon children by the purity, continence, and
mortification of parents and by their resistance to all unclean temptations; and how continence
after conception preserves the fruit of the womb from many sinful impulses." (Vol. 1)