The Revelations of Saint Gertrude
Book 1: The Revelations of Saint Gertrude.
The Life of Saint Gertrude.
www.catholic-saints.net/revelations/st-gertrude-the…
Chapter 1
The thirteenth century was an eventful one for the world and the Church. Its commencement found the great orders of St. Dominic and St. Francis established in almost every city of Europe, already winning martyr's crowns and containing their trophies won for the Lamb by hundreds and by thousands. St. Elizabeth of Hungary had sanctified a palace and edified a nation by her heroic virtue and her meek resignation in adversity. St Thomas Aquinas and the seraphic St. Bonaventure had bequeathed such treasures to the Church, as had never before been confided to her keeping. St. Louis had died a victim to his love of Jesus crucified and his grief that the land where his Lord had died should be despoiled by the heathen and defiled by the infidel. It was, in truth, a century of Saints, and of Saints of more than ordinary note; at the close of this century as a crowning gift, came the great and beautiful Saint Gertrude, whose history has been little too known among us, while her very name receives a continual homage of reverent love.
The illustrious Benedictine Abbess was born at Eisleben, a small town in the country of Mansfield, on the 6th of January, 1263; and thus, as it has been happily remarked, a star of no ordinary brilliancy was given to the Church on the day on which that Church was mystically led by a start to her Incarnate God. It is said that the family of the Counts of Lachenborn were nearly related to the imperial family of Germany; but whatever their rank or dignity may have been, all distinct remembrance of it has long since passed away, and they are only now remembered as illustrious because of the surpassing sanctity of their illustrious child. Bucelinus, in his Aquila Imperii Benedictini, gives a genealogical tree of the family of the Counts of Hackeborn, commencing with the father of the Saint, and concluding with "Fredericus Dominus et Comes" in Hackeborn, "familiae suae ultimus" but there is no date by which to determine when this Count, the "last of his family" passed away from earth. When the Saint attained her fifth year, she was placed in the famous Benedictine Abbey of Rodersdorf, in the diocese of Halberstadt, where she was soon joined by her younger sister Mechtilde.
Here, under the careful training of the Benedictine Dames - who then, as now, devoted themselves with unwearied solicitude and more than ordinary intellectual abilities, to the education of those confided to their charge - the young Countess of Lachenborn advanced in wisdom and learning, both human and divine.
The high intellectual gifts with which St. Gertrude was endowed had the most ample advantages for their development. At an early age she was sufficiently conversant with the Latin tongue to read and converse in that language; her reading was extensive for an age in which literature was confined to parchment manuscripts and oral instructions. Indeed, her devotion to her literary pursuits - though these were of the best and purest kind, since the Scriptures, the Fathers, and other theological works, were her chief study - seemed at first likely to prove a hindrance to her spiritual advancement. Yet all was overruled by infinite love and infinite wisdom. Her writings were to be the Church's treasures in all ages, though, like stars in a stormy sky, their light may be for a time concealed from men, only perchance to shine more gloriously when they shall have emerged from this passing obscurity.
Secular learning might encase the jewel, but it could not produce it; it might enhance the beauty of the pure and sparkling stream by diverting its course through a more cultivated channel, but it could not produce the stream itself. And now the Spouse of virgins began to speak to the heart of His chosen one, and to withdraw her from those exterior occupations, no longer necessary for mental cultivation, that she might listen without distraction or hindrance to those whispers of His love which we also, despite our unworthiness are permitted to hear and to enjoy.
The Saint has informed us herself when and how the first of these heavenly communications was vouchsafed to her. It was on Monday, the 25th of January, "at the close of day, the Light of lights came to dissipate the obscurity of her darkness, and to commence her conversion. And Jesus came, as He mostly comes to His beloved ones, as she performed an act of humility and obedience - declining to an ancient religious to fulfill a conventual observance, and doubtless from no mere habitual custom, but with deep and lowly reverence for a spouse of Christ, whom she considered incomparably her superior in virtue and sanctity.
Her sisters were not slow to perceive that their companion was specially favored by Heaven. One religious who had long suffered from most painful temptations, was warned in a dream to apply to Gertrude for relief and to recommend herself to her prayers. The moment she complied with this injunction, the temptation ceased. Another, who feared to communicate under a similar and even more urgent trial, obtained a morsel of cloth which had been used by the Saint, and placing it near her heart, implored our Lord to deliver her by the merits of Gertrude. The favor was granted, and from that moment she never suffered from the same temptation. It would appear, indeed, that Gertrude was specially designed by providence to assist others, even during her life time, by her merits and intercession, as well as by the gifts of counsel with which she was singularly favored.
A person whose sanctity had been long manifest, and who was specially favored by Divine communications, came to the monastery from a distant country to obtain an interview with the Saint. As she knew none of the religious personally, she prayed that whoever would benefit most by their conversation might be sent to her. It was then made known to her that whoever should come and take their place beside her would be indeed the one most beloved by God, and the most holy among the religious. On her arrival, St. Gertrude came to her; but so well did she conceal any appearance of sanctity, and hide the supernatural light with which she was favored, that the stranger imagined that she had been deceived and again prayed as she had done before. The same reply was once more vouchsafed to her, and she was assured that this was indeed the religious who was so dear to God. Shortly after, the visitor had a long interview with St. Mechtilde, whose conversation she greatly preferred and whose sanctity was more apparent. Again she "inquired of God" and asked why St. Gertrude was preferred to her sister. Our Lord replied that He had indeed operated great graces in Mechtilde, but in Gertrude He had operated, and He would yet operate, far greater.
Another person of great sanctity, who was praying for the Saint, felt a singular impulse of affection for her, which she believed to be supernatural. "O Divine Love!" she exclaimed, "what is it You behold in this virgin which obliges You to esteem her so highly and to love her much?" Our Lord replied: "It is My goodness alone which obliges Me; since she contains and perfects in her soul those five virtues which pleases Me above all others, and which I have placed therein by a singular liberality. She possesses purity, by a continual influence of My grace; she possesses humility, amidst the great diversity of the gifts which I have bestowed on her - for the more I effect in her, the more she abases herself; she possesses a true benighnity, which makes her desire the salvation of the whole world for My greater glory; she possesses a true fidelity, spreading abroad, without reserve, all her treasures the same and final end. Finally, she possesses a consummate charity; for she loves Me with her whole heart, with her whole soul and with her whole strength; and for love of Me, she loves her neighbor as herself".
After Our Lord had spoken this to this soul, He showed her a precious stone on His heart, in the form of a triangle, made of trefoils, the beauty and brilliancy of which cannot be described; and He said to her. "I always wear this jewel as a pledge of the affection which I have for My spouse. I have made it in this form, that all the celestial court may know by the brightness of the first leaf that there is no creature on earth so dear to Me as Gertrude, because there is no one at this present time among mankind who is united to Me so closely as she is, either by purity of intention or by uprightness of will. They will see by the second leaf that there is no soul still bound by the chains if flesh and blood whom I am so disposed to enrich by My graces and favors. And they will observe in the splendor of the third leaf that there is no one who refers to My glory lone the gifts received from Me with such sincerity and fidelity as Gertrude, who far from wishing to claim the least thing for herself, desires most ardently that nothing shall be ever attributed to her". Our Lord concluded this revelation by saying to the holy person to whom He had thus condescended to speak of the perfections of our Saint: "You cannot find Me in any place in which I delight more, or which is more suitable for Me, than in the Sacrament of the Altar, and after that, in the heart and soul of Gertrude, My beloved; for towards her all my affections, and the complacences of My Divine Love, turn in a singular manner"
On another occasion, a devout person who was praying for the Saint heard these words: "She for whom thou prayest is My dove, who has no guile in her, for she rejects from her heart as gall all the guile and bitterness of sin. She is My chosen lily, which I love to bear in My hands, for it is My delight and My pleasure to repose in the purity and innocence of this chaste soul. She is My rose, whose odor is full of sweetness because of her patience in every adversity and the thanksgiving which she continually offers Me, which ascend before Me as the sweetest perfumes. She is that spring flower which never fades, and which I take pleasure in contemplate, because she keeps and maintains continually in her breast an ardent desire not only for all virtues, but for the utmost perfection of every virtue. She is a sweet melody, which ravishes the ears of the blessed; and this melody is composed of all the sufferings she endures with so much constancy"
A little before Lent, as Gertrude was reading a lecture for the community, according to the custom of the Order, she repeated these words twice: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with thy whole heart, and with thy whole soul, and with they whole strength" (Deut. 6:5). The Saint lived in a community of saints, where more than one favored soul was vouchsafed intimate and frequent communion with her Spouse. A sister, who was touched by the devotion with which these words were uttered, prayed that He who so loved Gertrude and had taught her to love Him so much, would vouchsafe to impart to her the same blessed lesson. Our Lord replied: "I have borne her in My arms from her infancy. I have preserved her in her baptismal purity and innocence, until she, by her own free choice and will, has given herself to Me entirely and forever; and as a recompense for the perfection of her desires, I in return, have given Myself entirely to her. So pleasing is this soul to Me, that when I am offended by men, I often enter therein to repose, and I make her endure some pain of body or of mind, which I inflict on her for the sins of others; and as she accepts this suffering with the same thanksgiving, humility and patience as she receives all that comes from Me, and offers it to Me in union with My sufferings, she appeases my anger, and obliges My mercy to pardon, for her sake, an immense number of sinners."
On another occasion, Gertrude having humbly asked the prayers of a sister, the religious complied with her request, and while praying for the Saint, heard these words: "The faults which appear in Gertrude may rather be called steps in perfection, for it would be almost impossible that human weakness could be preserved from the blasts of vainglory, amidst the abundance of graces which I continually operate in her, if her virtues were not hidden from her eyes under the veils and shadow of apparent defects. Thus, even as the earth produces a richer and more abundant harvest in proportion as the laborer has been careful in manuring it, so the gratitude of Gertrude bears Me richer fruit, the more I make her see her own weakness. It is for this reason that I permit different imperfections in her, for which she is in a state of continual humiliation, sending her a particular grace for each, with which she blots them all out from My sight; and the time will come when I change these defects into so many virtues, so that her soul will shine before Me as a most glorious sun."
What these defects were, we are not told. The Saint's patience in sickness and in trial was unalterable; her charity to her sisters abounded with each necessity; for its exercise; and her sanctity was apparent in every action of her holy life. A special gift of prophecy or fore - knowledge enabled her to give advice with promptness, and the greatest wisdom, on the most important occasions. When these gifts became known, the monastery was frequently visited by all classes of persons, who came to converse with her on spiritual subjects, or to obtain counsel in difficulties. Her deep study of Holy Scripture and of the Fathers now bore abundant fruit, and it was observed that she had a singular, and no doubt a Heaven sent, felicity in applying what she had read and treasured in her memory to the spiritual necessities of those with whom she conversed.
God and the salvation of souls - this was the one object of her life, the one end of every action. From her humility, she had fully persuaded herself that the marvelous graces bestowed on her were given her for others. This holy delusion served two important ends - it saved her from every temptation to spiritual complacence, and it induced her to impart freely to others a knowledge if the revelations and other favors bestowed in her. She was simply according to her own idea, a channel of divine grace to others; and believing this to be her end, she neither spared time nor labor for its accomplishment. Often her rest was shortened and her food forgotten when souls demanded tome or anxious thought. "Not satisfied with even this, she often deprived herself of the sweetness of contemplation when it was necessary to succor the tempted, to console the afflicted, or, what she desired above all else, to enkindle and increase the fire of divine love in any soul. For as iron, when placed in the fire, becomes itself like fire, thus this virgin, burning with love, seemed to be all love, such zeal had she for the salvation of all."
She believed that God would indeed be glorified thereby, and that His gifts would thus be multiplied a hundredfold; "she was absolutely persuaded that she received nothing for herself, but that all was for the salvation of others. She never beheld anyone whom she did not consider better than herself, and it was on this account that she was so convinced that God would receive more glory by the communications of His graces to them. She believed that they merited more by a single thought, by their mere innocence, even by their purity of heart, than she could do by all her mental powers or spiritual gifts." Can we wonder that a vessel so emptied of self should have been filled to overflowing with God? - that the "perfume of the ointment" should have lingered for so many hundreds of years in the house of God, and that it still affords refreshment and consolation to His chosen spouses, and to the most saintly souls? May this poor effort to extend the sweetness of that perfume be for His honor and glory, for the honor of this blessed Saint and for the refreshment of the little ones of Jesus!
Chapter 2
In the year 1273, Rodolph of Hapsburg ascended the imperial throne as Emperor of Germany, though as he was not crowned by the the Holy See, he only bore the humbler title of King of the Romans. It is said that his election was predicted by a priest to whom he showed singular marks of reverence and respect while bearing the Holy Viaticum to a dying man. Coxe in his House of Austria, highly extols the character of this prince, but observes that he was raised to the imperial throne chiefly through the influence of the Archbishop of Mentz. Albert, the Emperor's sole surviving son, succeeded to the hereditary dominions of his father. The electors would probably have accepted him as their chief, had not his stern and unconciliating manners offended his best friends, and, contrary to all expectation, Adolphus, Count of Nassau, was raised to the vacant throne.
The nomination of Adolphus took place on May 10, 1292. How little did he imagine that his new dignity and tragic end were at that very moment revealed to a nun in a distant and lonely cloister! The sisters were earnest in their prayers for a worthy successor to their most Christian king, and interceded, as true religious ever will, with fervent supplications for the welfare of their country. On the very day, and almost at the same moment, when the important affair was decided, Gertrude told the Abbess of her monastery what had occurred, and predicted the terrible fate of the new monarch.
The troubles of the times were not without their effect upon the monastery of Rodersdorf. Once, when threatened with a terrible calamity, which was considered inevitable because of the menaces of those who had both power and force on their side, the Saint went to her Superior, and assured her there was no longer any cause for fear. Almost at the same moment, the person whose anger had been so much dreaded came to the convent and the religious found, to their joy and amazement, that the local judges had appeased all differences and established peace even as Gertrude had predicted to the Abbess.
St. Gertrude was chosen Abbess of her monastery in the year 1294. The year following, the religious removed to Heldelfs. The Saint was elected at the early age of thirty - no slight testimony to her singular prudence and extraordinary virtue. For forty years she continued to edify and guide her spiritual children, many of whom had attained a high degree of sanctity. As Superior, she was distinguished for charity and zeal. While others suffered, whether in body or in mind, she could not rest; and where there was need of amendment, her tears and prayers brought repentance and renewed fervor, rather than any severity of reproof, which her very office might have more than sanctioned. The importance of her work, and its immense value in the eyes of her Divine Spouse, was manifested to her by a remarkable vision, which must ever be a special subject of instruction and consolation for those similarly circumstanced, and, indeed, for all religious.
Our Lord appeared to her, bearing on His sacred shoulders a vast magnificent building. "Behold" He said: "with what labor, care and vigilance I carry this beloved house, which is none other than that if Religion. It is everywhere threatened with ruin, because there are so few persons who are willing to do or to suffer anything for its support and increase. You, therefore, should suffer with Me in bearing it; for all those who endeavor, by their words or actions, to extend religion, and who try to establish it in its first fervor and purity, are so many strong pillars which sustain this holy house and comfort Me by sharing with Me the weight of this burden."
From this moment the Saint devoted herself, with all the sanctified energy of a naturally ardent temperament, to the work so dear to her Spouse. Her monastery became indeed a "pleasure - house" of delight to the Spouse if virgins. Under her guidance, the fervent increased in fervor, and the saintly advanced rapidly in perfection. Many were favored with intimate and most blessed communications from Heaven; one at least, her sister in the flesh as well as in the spirit, obtained even on earth a recognition of her sanctity, and ranks amongst those who are invoked upon the Church's altars.
But the life of the young Abbess was not to be devoted exclusively to active service; and Our Lord began now to teach her that exterior zeal should have its limits, however holy the end for which it labored; that contemplation was not only necessary for the individual soul, but also to promote the glory of God in others, since prayer alone may effect conversions and sanctifications, while active exertion, without its vivifying influence, is of little avail. A person to whom our Divine Lord revealed His designs in regard to the Saint wrote thus to her:
"O blessed spouse of Christ, enter into the joy of your Lord! His Divine Heart opens for you its fount of ineffable sweetness, as a reward for the fidelity with which you have labored for His glory and for the defense of the truth. He desires now that you should rest in the shadow of His most peaceful consolations: for as a good tree, planted by the riverside, takes root deeply and produces abundant fruit, so will you produce for your Beloved the fruit of your thoughts, words and actions, which are most pleasing to Him, by His grace operating within you. Do not fear that the heat of persecution will wither up your soul, for it is continually bedewed by the sacred waters of grace. As you seek in all your actions the glory of God, and not your own, the fervor of your zeal increases a hundredfold the fruits which you offer to your dear Spouse, not only by the pious works which you actually accomplish, but even by those which you desire to do yourself or to see done by others, although it is not in your power to perform them. Jesus Christ Himself will supply before His Father your needs and your defects, and those of others for whom you are solicitous; therefore, do not doubt that He will equally reward all you desire to do as if you had accomplished it and know that the whole court of Heaven rejoices in your advancement and returns thanks and praise to God for love of you".
The union of the Saint with her Lord became now so intimate that even the apprehension of sudden death appeared unable to disturb her peace for a moment. On one occasion, as she journeyed from one convent to another, she was suddenly precipitated down a steep mountain path. "My sweet Lord", she exclaimed, "how happy I should have been if this fall had brought me sooner to Thee!" Her companions inquired if she would would not fear to die without the Sacraments. "I desire most ardently," she replied, "to receive the support of the Sacraments before I die, but I prefer the Providence and the will of my Lord and my God even to all the Sacraments, for I believe that this is the best preparation for death. It is indifferent to me whether it be slow or sudden, provided that it is pleasing in His sight to whom I hope it will bring me; for I trust, in whatever manner I die, that I shall not be deprived of the mercy of my God, without which my eternal ruin would be inevitable, whether I die an unprepared death, or whether I have long anticipated my end."
The Saint's confidence in God was indeed an eminent characteristic of her sanctity, and one which obtained for her immense favors. How could the Heart of Jesus refuse anything to one who trusted Him so entirely? How pleasing was this virtue was to her Spouse, was revealed to one of her religious, who had long prayed in vain for a particular favor which she ardently desired. At last our Divine Lord vouchsafed to inform her of the reason of this delay, and which she had felt and expressed her profound amazement. "I have delayed answering your prayers because you have not yet sufficient confidence in the effects which My mercy produces in you. Why do you not act like Gertrude, My chosen virgin, who is so firmly established on My Providence, that there is nothing which she does not hope for from the plenitude of My grace; therefore I will never refuse her anything, whatever she may ask of Me".
A holy man once earnestly prayed that he might know what virtue was most pleasing to Our Lord in His spouse. He was answered that it was "her generosity of heart". But as this surprised him not a little, he ventured to reply: "As for me, O Lord, I had imagined that what pleased You most in this soul was the perfect she had of herself, and the high degree of love to which by Your grace, she had attained". Our Lord replied: "This generosity of heart is if such value and so great a good, that the height of perfection may be obtained through it. By means of it My elect is prepared at all times for receiving gifts of great value, which prevents her from attaching her heart to anything which could either impede Me or displease Me".
One happy effect of this liberty of spirit was that the Saint could not bear either to possess or retain anything that was not absolutely necessary for use; and yet we are told that she had a sweet and holy attachment to such things as were used for holy purposes - to the tablets on which she wrote - and well might she love them, since her writings were the special work for which Providence had given her to the Church, and were begun by the express command of her Divine Spouse: for such spiritual works as promised the greatest edification and proved most profitable to herself and to her sisters - and this because she believed these inanimate things were used by Our Lord to render Him a special service, and to procure His greater honor and glory.
The happy manner in which she combined the duties of the active life with that unceasing union her Beloved was so specially characterized her spiritual life was shown to St. Mechtilde in a vision. On one occasion, as she chanted, she beheld our Divine Lord seated on a high throne around which St. Gertrude walked without turning her eyes from her Master even for a moment. At the same time, she appeared to fulfill her exterior duties with the most perfect exactness. As her holy sister mused in amazement on the vision, she heard these words: "This is an image of the life which My beloved Gertrude lives; thus does she ever walk in My presence, never relaxing in her ardent desire to know and to do what is most pleasing to My heart. As soon as she has ascertained it, she executes it with care and fidelity, and then promptly passes to some other duty, seeking in her zeal always to find some new virtue to practice. Thus her whole life is a continuous chain of praise, consecrated to My honor and glory."
"But Lord", replied St. Mechtilde, "if the life of St. Gertrude is so perfect, how is it that she cannot support the imperfections of others, and that they appear so great to her?"
Our Lord replied with admirable sweetness: "It is because she cannot endure that her own heart should be filled with the slightest stain, and therefore she cannot see without emotion the least defect in the heart of another".
It was the custom of the Saint when she was offered any choice in articles of clothing or other necessaries, to close her eyes, then to put out her hand and take whatever she touched. Then she received whatever fell to her lot, with the most lively gratitude as a present from our Lord Himself. Indeed, her devotion to Divine Providence was a special feature in her sanctity, and one which procured her many favors. What could be refused to one who trusted so utterly to Eternal Love!
The sanctity of St. Mechtilde was well known to the Saint, and she frequently asked her advice and prayers. Once, as Mechtilde fervently prayed for her, in compliance with her desire, she beheld our Divine Lord attired as a Bridegroom, and clothed in a robe of green lined with gold. His beauty surpassed that of millions of Angels, and He tenderly embraced with His right arm her for whom she prayed. It appeared to her that Gertrude also embraced her Lord, and that her heart was attached to the wound in the side of Jesus. As she sought in amazement to comprehend this extraordinary vision, she heard these words: "Know that the green and gold of My vestments represents the operation of My Divinity, always new, and always acting by the influence of My love. Yes." He added, after again repeating the same words, "My operation is always new, and always in action in the soul of Gertrude; and the union which you behold of her heart with My side shows that she is attached so inseparably to Me, that she is in a condition to receive every moment the infusions of My Divinity."
St. Mechtilde then asked if St. Gertrude, who was so dear to God, never committed any fault, and why she appeared so ready at any moment to change her occupation, and to do so, as if by chance, whatever came into her mind, her conscience appearing to be equally at rest whether she prayed, wrote, read, instructed, reproved, or consoled.
Our Savior replied: "I have united My Heart so closely to her soul by the ties of My Mercy that she has become one spirit with Me. It is on this account she obeys so promptly all the desires of My will, so that the harmony and understanding which exists between the different members of the body and the heart is not greater than that which exists between the soul of Gertrude and Mine; and as the moment a man has willed in his heart a movement of his hands, they accomplish his desire, because they are entirely subject to the will of the heart; and as one desires in his mind that his eyes should look on any object, and his eyes immediately open to obey him - so Gertrude is ever with Me, and at every moment is ready to obey the movements which I suggest."
A similar revelation was made about the same time to another holy person, to whom it was said that the union of the Saint with her Spouse would become even yet more perfect, that she would receive the gifts of God with yet greater abundance, and that she would obtain so perfect a union with Him, that with her eyes she would only see what God willed her to see, with her ears only hear what God willed her to hear, and with her lips only speak what He willed her to speak.
Chapter 3
That one so united to God should have been specially favored with the gift of miracles, is but what we might expect in the ordinary course of spiritual life. Those who give themselves up without reserve to God receives His gifts also without reserve. They do His will, and He accomplishes theirs; for the will of the Bridegroom and the bride is one. The Saint once obtained the cessation of a frost which was so severe that had it continued longer, the fruits of the earth would have been utterly destroyed. Her petition was offered at the Holy Sacrifice; and as she was about to approach the adorable Sacrament of the Altar, our Lord assured her that He had granted her request. With holy boldness however, she asked that the hail which was then falling might instantly cease. Her petition was granted, but as she was absorbed in the greatness of the action she was about to perform, she thought no more of her request. It was only remembered as she left the church and saw the thaw which had already commenced. Those who knew not of the prayer of the Saint were greatly amazed at the sudden change of weather and feared it was but a passing cessation of the dreaded severity, but it was not so; the country was spared desolation and famine, though few knew to whom they were indebted for this favor.
Once, also, when long heavy rain threatened to destroy the harvest, all the sisters were constantly offering prayers and penances to avert the calamity. Gertrude at last, with the holy confidence of extraordinary sanctity, declared that she would not cease praying until she obtained the fine weather. Immediately the sky became serene and fair, though a few moments before dark and heavy clouds had threatened a long continuance of rain.
"One evening, after supper", says her biographer, "when the community went into the court to finish some work, the sun, which was still above the horizon, was suddenly covered with clouds, which threatened to fall in heavy rain. Gertrude sighed deeply - and I myself heard her - speaking thus to God: 'O Lord my God, Creator of the universe, I do not pretend to constrain You to obey my sinful will; on the contrary, if Your infinite mercy wills not to oppose the degrees of Your justice, and prevent this rain, except for my sake, I would rather that Your Will, which I adore, should be accomplished and that it should rain, if You have willed it thus.' She said these things with perfect resignation to the Will of God, having her mind occupied solely with the consideration of Divine Providence, whose orders she desired to see executed. But, behold, a marvel! She had scarcely finished these words when a clap of thunder was heard, and large drops of rain began to fall rapidly. She, quite overcome, and touched with compassion for the sisters, exclaimed again, 'Have pity on us, O God of clemency, at least for a brief space, until we have finished the work which we have been commanded to do'. God, to show that He refused nothing to her prayers, caused the rain to cease until all was finished. " The community then returned to their enclosure, but they had scarcely reached the door when there came on so violent a storm of thunder, lightening and rain, that those who remained in the court were perfectly deluged with it. " It is thus" continued the chronicler, "that God obeys the prayers of His elect, who have entirely renounced their own desires for love of Him."
It was the Saint's ordinary custom to have recourse to her heavenly Spouse in every trial, whether of less or greater import, and her prayers were equally accepted on all such occasions. What, indeed, is little in His sight, who so cares for His elect, that the very hairs of their heads are numbered, and not one can fall without His knowledge? Thus it is related of Gertrude, that even when she had lost a needle with which she had been working, and had sought it for some time in the straw where it had fallen, she turned to her Lord, for whose glory it had been used, and asked Him to help her in her search; even as she spoke, she put her hand once more into the straw, and found instantly what she had so long looked for in vain. Indeed, so great was the power of the Saint over the Heart of her Spouse, that it appeared as if our Divine Lord Himself was pained to refuse her any request. It happened on one occasion, that a long continuance of drought, combined with tempestuous weather, caused serious fears for the fruits of the earth. St. Gertrude, as usual, had recourse to prayer. It was not the will of God to grant her petition; but with amazing condescension, He vouchsafed not only to inform her of His designs, but even, as it would appear, to excuse Himself to her for not complying with her request.
"The reason which obliges Me sometimes to grant the prayers of My elect does not exist between you and Me, since our wills are so closely united by the sacred tie of grace, that you desire nothing but what I Myself desire. But because I design by the terrors of this tempest to conquer some who rebel against My Will and at least to oblige them to seek Me by prayer, since they only come to Me when they have no other resource, it is necessary that I should refuse you what you desire. Nevertheless, that you may know that your prayers have not failed in their effect, I will grant you in return some other spiritual favor." What a revelation of the tenderness of the Father and the sanctity of the child! Alas! Then, are there those to whom our dear Lord is obliged to grant the favors they ask because they cannot bear to be refused, because, to prevent their murmurs, He gives that which, had they more faith, would be refused! And, alas, is it not too true that thousands seek Him only when all else has failed, and must be driven into the arms which all day long are opened to welcome them with such ineffable tenderness!
As Gertrude who frequently consulted on all subjects, not only by those who had the happiness of living under her immediate guidance, but also by hundreds who came from afar, attracted by the fame of her sanctity, it happened more than once that she was seized with holy fear lest her words and her counsel should rather hinder than advance those who had recourse to her. As she prayed for light in this important subject, Our Lord replied: "Fear nothing from henceforth; be consoled, take courage, and be at rest. I am the Lord thy God; I am thy Beloved, who has created thee by a pure effect of My love; I have chosen thee to make thee My abode by My grace, and to take My delight in thee; therefore, I will reply truly by thee to those who seek Me through thee with fervor and humility. I promise you also, that I will never permit anyone whom I consider unworthy of receiving My Body and Blood to ask your advice on that matter. Therefore, send forward the scrupulous and timorous in the greatest security, because for your sake, I will exclude none of them from My paternal affection; but I will rather embrace them in the tenderest charity, and refuse them not My sweetest kiss of peace."
Once, as she prayed for a certain person, and felt ashamed that this person had not greater faith in obtaining even more than she had asked, our Lord said to her, with great kindness: "Whatever any person hopes to obtain through your intercession, they shall certainly receive from Me; and further, whatever you shall promise to anyone in My name shall certainly be done for them, for though the suppliant, through human infirmity, may not perceive what I have done, I will nevertheless fulfill My promise, and produce the desired effect in his soul."
After some days, as the Saint reflected in amazement how such great promises could be made to one so unworthy, and inquired of her Spouse how He could bestow His graces in so vile a creature, He replied to her: "Does not the Universal Church allow that I formerly said to Peter alone,....'Whatever thou shalt loose on earth, it shall be loosed in heaven' (Matt. 16:19), and at the same time believe that the ministers of the Church exercise the same power now? Why, then, do you not believe that I can and will carry out whatever Divine love prompts Me to promise you?" He then touched her tongue, and said: "Behold I have given My words in thy mouth" (Jer. 1:9): "And I truly confirm whatever you may say to others at My suggestion and in my name: to whomsoever you shall promise anything through My goodness upon earth, I will make it sure and ratify it in Heaven." To these marvelous promises the Saint replied: "Lord, I would grieve were anyone thus to incur eternal loss, as they would were I to say no crime would escape unpunished, or anything of that kind". He replied: "Whenever the love of justice or of souls shall prompt you so to speak, My clemency will previously admonish the sinner thus address to repent of his sins, so that may not deserve vengeance or punishment by making light of your instructions." The Saint answered: "If it be really true, my God, that Thou in Thy goodness, dost speak thus through me, how is it that my words have so little effect on some persons, not withstanding the ardent desire I have to lead them to glorify Thee and to save themselves?" Our Lord replied: "Marvel not if your words are sometimes fruitless, and produce no effect, since when I dwelt among men, My own words, though uttered with the fervor and power of the Godhead, produced not the fruit of salvation in the hearts of all. It is through My Divine Providence that all things are arranged and perfected in the fitting time, as appointed by Me."
Soon after, having occasion to reprove a person for a fault, she feared she had acted indiscreetly, and with too much severity. She turned immediately to her Spouse and implored Him that she might never say anything to anyone that would not be according to His Heart. "Fear nothing, My daughter," " replied our Savior, "but rather be filled with a holy confidence; for I will give you this special grace, that when anyone shall have recourse to you with faith and humility, in order to consult you on any subject whatsoever, the light of My truth shall discover to you the most hidden obscurities in the matter, and you will judge of them as truly as I Myself, according to the matter in hand, and the circumstances of the persons. You will reprehend severely, from Me, those whose conduct I make known to you and to have been guilty; and, on the contrary, you will be sweet and affable to those whose faults have been less serious." "King of Heaven and earth", she exclaimed, "withhold the torrent of Thy mercies, for a fragment of dust and ashes such as I am is unworthy to receive such great favors." "Why be so amazed My daughter?" replied our Lord, sweetly soothing her, if I make you a judge of the causes of My enmities, when I have so often communicated to you the secrets of My friendship?" Then He added these words: "All those who, when overcome with sadness, and having their hearts oppressed with any affliction, go with deep humility and true sincerity to obtain counsel and consolation from you, shall never be disappointed; for I the Lord, dwelling in thee, on the impulse of the exuberance of My love, desire to make you the medium of saving many, and it is\certain that all the joy that your heart will experience in this is drawn from the fruitful source of My Heart."
St. Mechtilde once beheld the heart of the Saint forming, as it were, a firm and stable bridge, the sides of which appeared to her to be bordered, the one with the Divinity of Jesus Christ, and the other with His holy Humanity, as with two walls. After beholding this, she heard these words: "Those who come to Me by this bridge need to have no apprehension of wandering or of falling; that is to say, all those who receive her counsels, and execute them faithfully, shall never wonder from the right path, which leads to the life of a blessed eternity."
When our Divine Lord revealed to the Saint that it was His Will she should commit her revelations to writing, her humility was exceedingly amazed. But her heavenly Spouse thus instructed and consoled her: "For what purpose has it been committed to writing that I visited St. Catherine in her prison and encouraged her by these words: 'Be firm and immovable, My daughter, for I am with you?' What purpose does it serve that it should be known how I visited John, My favorite, and said to him 'Come to Me, My beloved?' What purpose does it serve that these and many other things concerning them and others of My Saints are known, unless it be to enkindle the zeal of those who read and hear them, and to manifest to all men the greatness of My love? In this manner" added the Savior, the desire of obtaining the same favors as those which they shall see have obtained from Me will produce devotion in the hearts of those who, considering the effusion of My grace and the excess of My mercy, shall endeavor to change their present life for one more perfect."
On another occasion, as the Saint marveled why God urged her so strongly to make known her revelations, since He knew that the majority of mankind are so weak and unspiritual, that, far from finding in them any example for their edification, they would more probably find a subject of contempt and railery, she heard the Lord saying to her: "I have so planted my grace in you, that I expect it will bear Me immense fruit; therefore it is My desire that all those who receive similar favors, and who despise them by their negligence, shall learn from you on what conditions I have given them these gifts, in order that My grace may be increased in them in proportion as their gratitude increases. But should there be any sufficiently malicious to defame the sanctity of these works, the penalty of their sin shall fall on themselves, and you will not be accountable for it. For the Prophet Ezechiel has said from Me: 'I will lay a stumbling block before him' (Ez. 3:20); that is to say, I dispose, permit, and even command many things for the salvation of My elect, although they are a subject of scandal to the reprobate."
From these words St. Gertrude understood that God often inspired His elect to do what was an occasion of scandal to others, though not with the design of giving them scandal, and that we should never abstain from performing any good work in order to maintain a false peace with such persons; a lesson indeed, worth treasuring and observing at every period of the Church's history - for what has the Church or the world ever gained by unholy compliances, by timid concealment of miraculous supernatural occurrences, the truth of which they dare not altogether deny? If the world is scandalized, let it be scandalized, since even Eternal Truth Himself was not spared its censures.
Chapter 4
On one occasion St. Gertrude implored St. Mechtilde to obtain by her prayers two graces of which she believed herself to stand greatly in need. These graces were patience and mildness. As St. Mechtilde prayed, Our Lord spoke thus to her: "The sweetness which fills Gertrude with a perfect tranquility, and which pleases Me infinitely, results from My making my abode in the peace of her heart, and because I dwell constantly in her, she of necessity must dwell in Me, or if she is obliged sometimes to go out, let her do what the loving bride does when in the company of her spouse - if she is called away from him, she takes him by the hand and brings him with her; thus if she judges it necessary to leave the sweet repose of contemplation, in order to labor for the salvation of her neighbor, let her make the saving Sign of the Cross upon her heart; let her utter My name once before she speaks; and after that, let her say all that My grace inspires her with. In like manner, the patience of this Saint, to be agreeable to Me, must proceed from the peace and science of her heart; that is to say, she must be equally tranquil and enlightened, and must have, on the one hand, such a care of possessing her peace, that no adversity may be able to deprive her of it; and, on the other hand, let the motive for which she suffers be always present to her mind, and let her have no other motive in suffering but love alone, that she may give Me a proof of her perfect fidelity".
A person to whom the Saint was entirely unknown, but who had been asked to pray for her, received the following communication from Our Lord: I delight so much in her that I have chosen her as My abode. All that others see and love in her is My work, and whoever loves My work in her, loves Me; it is for this reason that those who are not capable of perceiving the interior gifts of her mind, admire her address, her eloquence, and all the other exterior qualities with which I have endowed her. And I desire that they should know that I have withdrawn her from her parents and all her friends, that none may love her from ties of consanguinity, but that I Myself may be the only cause of her love and esteem which they have for her.
When St. Gertrude was informed of these and other revelations which had been made concerning her, she exclaimed: "O my Beloved! how is it that Thy mercy bears with my iniquity, for the sole reason that Thy providences and infinitely perfect and adorable works are always agreeable to me? - since this does not result from my virtue, but from the attractions of Thy perfections and Thy adorable goodness, which does nothing unjust, nothing which is not perfectly good and perfectly adorable." The Lord made use of this simile in reply: When a person cannot read some small writing, she uses glasses, in order to make the characters appear larger; this is accomplished, not by any alteration in the writing, but by the quality of the glasses. In like manner, My daughter, if I find any imperfections or defects in you, I efface them and repair them by the abundant liberality of My mercy."
As the Saint was deprived for some time of the accustomed visits of her Spouse, she ventured to inquire why the favor was withheld, though she neither felt discouragement or depression in consequence. When a person looks at anyone who is close to them, replied Our Lord, the two greatly proximity often prevents them from seeing distinctly; as, for example, when a friend meets his friend and embraces him, this close union deprives him of the pleasure of looking at him. St. Gertrude understood by these words, that we often merit more when deprived of sensible grace, provided that we do not become less fervent in the practice of good works.
In the early years of the Saint's spiritual life, Our Lord often spoke to her in an audible voice, but later these communications assumed a different character. The Saint inquired the reason, and received this reply: In former years I oftener instructed you by giving you various answers that you might know, and that you might make known, the designs of My will to others; but now I only make Myself known to you in spirit, and I give you inspirations by lights which would be difficult to express in words. For I have chosen you for this purpose that I may use you as the repository of My treasures, wherein I may repose the riches of My grace, providing that every one should find whatever he needs in you, as in the spouse who knows all the secrets of her Bridegroom, and on account of her Divine union with Him, acknowledges His wishes and His Will in all things. And it was even so. For when the Saint prayed for anything, even if she received no reply from Our Lord, as she had done formerly, she nevertheless felt equal consolation, and a certain assurance that her prayer was heard. Also, when anyone came to ask counsel or consolation of her, she at once felt her heart filled with the necessary light and inspired what to say, without a moment's reflection - and with so much assurance and certainty, that she would have given her life for the truth of the inspiration.
Chapter 5
According to the calculations of Campacci, the Saint was elected Abbess on May 3, 1294, and governed her monastery for forty years, six months, and fourteen days. In the exercise of her charge she conducted herself with great wisdom, sweetness and prudence, coupled with a marvelous discretion, and for the glory of God and the benefit of mankind, in charity and love towards God, in piety and vigilance towards her neighbor, in profound humility and mortification towards herself. The sick had special occasion to extol her charity and her care, for she visited them assiduously, supplied them with every necessary, and, far from contenting herself with consoling them merely by words, she served them with her own hands, comforting them in their necessities, and providing even for their repose and recreation. Her religious, indeed, were often obliged to interfere in these exercises of devotion, lest their beloved Superior should exceed her strength and exhaust an already enfeebled frame in these ministries of love. Even in her dying moments, her thoughts, as we shall see later, were constantly occupied with a sick sister, nor could she be satisfied until she was carried to her to console her. So true a mother was this blessed Saint to the children whom God had given her!
"While, then, she thus flourished in all kinds of virtue, and, like a mystic rose, emitted a sweet odor of sanctity, agreeable alike to God and man, when she had concluded the fortieth year and eleventh day of her administration of the charge of Abbess, she was attacked with an illness, usually called the little apoplexy. This illness was for her a favorable touch of the Almighty hand, who willed to free her from the ties of the flesh and the miseries of earth and to draw to Himself this noble and generous soul, who, having nourished herself so long with the fruit of the most excellent virtues, had acquired an extraordinary vigor and strength; but for her religious, it was a dart which pierced their hearts and filled them with exceeding sadness. They could not but be deeply moved and feel most acutely at beholding themselves on the point of losing so gifted a Superior, who, in their opinion at least, had no equal in the world, such benedictions and favors had God poured forth on her, both in the order of nature and grace. She had brought up in the monastery and received to profession, more than a hundred religious, but of this great number we never knew one who had the same esteem and veneration for any person as for their incomparable Abbess. Her power of winning others was so great and so engaging, that even the young children who were placed in the convent conceived so tender and strong an affection for her, that as soon as they were instructed in the things of God, and learned that she was their spiritual mother, they would have considered it a fault and a disrespect to say that they loved either father or mother or any other relative more than the Saint.
"So dangerous an attack of illness made the religious fear that this star, which shone so brightly by the light of the Sun of Justice, was about to set; and, as they apprehended, when they were no longer guided by the wisdom of so amiable and holy a mother, nor animated by the brilliancy and force of her example, that they might stray from the strictness of the narrow path of holy religion, they had recourse to the Father of Mercies and addressed to Him their earnest prayers for her recovery. And He who is sovereign good despised not the sighs and tears of these poor children, but because it was not convenient that He should grant them what was contrary to the immutable decrees of His Providence, He heard them in another manner, and in the way which was most useful and advantageous for their salvation; since, by making them consider the approaching decease of their mother as the commencement and her happiness, He filled them with consolation and enabled them to rejoice in her joy."
The religious of whom mention has already been made, as one singularly fervor for her dying Superior. Our Lord replied to her: I have waited with inexpressible joy for this moment, that I might lead My elect into solitude, and there speak to her heart. I have not been disappointed in My expectation, for she conforms herself in all things to My Will, and obeys Me in the manner which is most agreeable to Me. The holy Benedictine understood that by solitude Our Lord meant the illness of the Saint, in which He spoke to the heart of His beloved, and not to herear; for His language is such as cannot be understood in an ordinary manner, just as those things which are spoken to the heart are rather felt than heard. Tribulations and afflictions of heart are the Lord's language to His elect; when one who suffers thus reflects that they are useless, that they are spending their time uselessly - that others are laboring for them, and laboring in vain, inasmuch as they are never to recover their health through this labor - the soul answers to such thoughts, that, that which is most pleasing to God is to maintain interior patience, and to desire that the entire Will of God may be accomplished in them. Such an answer does not reach Heaven in the usual manner of human communications, but resounds, as it were, through that sweetest Divine organ, the Heart of Jesus, which is the ecstatic joy of the entire Trinity and the heavenly host. He continued thus: My beloved affords Me the most intense and agreeable delight, because she despises not the afflictions of infirmity, as Queen Vasthi despised the orders of King Assuerus, when he commanded her to appear with a diadem in her head, that she might exhibit her beauty to his nobles. So, when I take pleasure in displaying the beauty of my chosen one in the presence of the ever-adorable Trinity and the heavenly host, I oppress her with sickness and infirmity; and she carries out My intentions to My perfect satisfaction, when, with all patience, she the more willingly and discreetly receives the relief and comfort I choose to give her body; and it adds to her glory that she sometimes does this with inconvenience to herself: but it should be her consolation to recollect that all things work together unto good to those that love God. (Rom. 8:28).
On another occasion, while the same religious was praying for her, the Lord said to her: It is a pleasure to Me to have My chosen one prepare a lodging for Me and then to bestow on her pearls and flowers of gold. By pearls I mean her senses, by flowers of gold her leisure, with which, when she has time, and her strength is somewhat restored, she discharges her duty as well as she can, in preparing most becoming and acceptable ornaments for Me: being solicitous how she may so arrange everything that can tend to increase and preserve religion, so that after her death her rules and examples may be as a firm pillar to support religion in eternal praise. But, in the height of her labors, if she feels that she is injuring her health, she immediately desists, and leaves Me to finish the work: for the real fidelity that moves My Heart consists in persons discharging their duty when they find themselves in good health, and immediately desisting and intrusting all to Me when they find themselves indisposed.
As the illness of the Saint increased, she became incapable of the least manual labor, and her tender conscience was filled with fear lest there should be any imperfection even in this compulsory inactivity; she therefore requested the religious who had received so many revelations for her consolation to pray for her. Our Lord replied: A good king never takes it ill of his queen if she neglects bringing forward at a given hour the ornaments that he is most gratified at receiving, but he is much more pleased at finding her always ready to comply with his wishes; and the sweetness of My most benign Heart delights more in the patient endurance with which My chosen one bears her infirmity, on the relief of which she resumes her labors for the extension of religion, so far as she can without injuring her health."
As the Saint found herself daily more and more unequal to the important duties of her office, she became anxious to resign her charge; but even this desire she was unwilling to put into effect, until assured that it was the Will of God. Fearful lest her own inclination might deceive her, even in the interpretation of heavenly communications, she requested her favored daughter to ask the counsel she needed from the Source of all wisdom. Our Lord condescended to reply - may we not hope for the consolation and help many of His chosen ones, as well as of the soul so singularly favored thus specially to know His Will? - By this illness I sanctify My chosen one, to make her a fit habitation for Myself - as a church is sanctified by the blessing of a bishop. In like manner as a church is secured with locks, to prevent the entrance of the unworthy, so I, by that infirmity, seal her up so that her mind cannot be occupied by externals, which tend to disturb the heart and distract it from Me, and in which there is sometimes no great utility. Thus, as 'My delight is to be with the children of men' (Prov. 8:3). as I have said in the Book of Wisdom, I exercise and purify Gertrude by sickness, that she may merit to become My dwelling and my temple; according to the word of My Prophet: 'The Lord is nigh unto those who are of a contrite heart'. (Ps. 33:19). I continue also to embellish and adorn her with the rich and precious gifts of a good will and a right intention, which produce and animate all her actions, that I may erect My throne and repose in her, as a king who is seated on his couch of justice, and that I may therein take My delight as long as she is on earth, until I call her to abide with Me in Heaven, where I will share My eternal delights with her; but in the meanwhile I have not entirely deprived her of health, and I have left her the use of her exterior senses, desiring still to employ her to make known My Will and My answers to the community which she governs, as formerly I gave the people of Israel the Ark of the Covenant, where I delivered My oracles and received their respect and adoration. Therefore, as Gertrude is a spiritual ark, I desire that she should contain manna - that is to say, the sweetness and tenderness of charity to console the souls under her guidance, and to solace their griefs as far as she can. I desire also that she should possess the Tablets of the Law - that is to say, that she should declare or forbid what should be done or not done, in order to please Me, and that in so doing she should be guided by the lights and discernment with which I have enlightened her. But I desire also that she should be the rod of Aaron - that is to say, the authority and zeal of justice, to correct those persons who stray from their duty, to prescribe and impose salutary penances, and to decide and regulate everything with a fervent and even mind. She should consider that I could easily reform what needs reform, or what is ill-regulated, by simple inspirations, or by trials and disgraces; but I effect these things through her to increase her merit. And if anyone fails to profit by her warnings and corrections, it shall be no prejudice to Gertrude, since she has done her duty and has employed all the care and vigilance possible to convert the sinner: Man may plant and water, but I only can give the increase (CF. 1 Cor. 3:6).
As the Saint now became troubled because she could not approach Holy Communion as frequently as she had been accustomed to do, and also because she feared to approach it without her usual preparation, which her sickness rendered impossible, she made known her trial to the beloved companion who had so often obtained counsel to the beloved companion who had so often obtained counsel for her. She was also grieved because the religious took so much trouble to serve her, and devoted so much time to her, since every effort to procure her recovery seemed of no avail. To the first difficulty the Lord replied: When it is purely for Me that Gertrude abstains from Communion or from any other good work which she would willingly practice, if it could be accomplished without increasing her illness or injuring her health, then the liberality of My goodness will impart to her a share in all the goodness will impart to her a share in all the good which is done by the faithful; for all the good which is done in the Church belongs to Me, and I dispose of it as I will - and this because it is from pure intention, and for Me only that she has not participated in the graces of those holy exercises which she has omitted.
To the other inquiry Our Lord answered: You must serve her with respectful charity, cheerfully and promptly, to love and honor Me, because I dwell in her, and I have made her the head of this community; therefore let each assist her, as the members assist the head. Let her refer to My honor and glory the service which is rendered to her, and rejoice that I employ her as one who is united to Me by a constant and faithful friendship to increase the merit of My elect; for I will reward all the good that is done for her, not only in act, but by words of affection, as if it had been done to Myself.
On the Feast of St. Lebuin, as the sisters prayed in common, with special fervor, for the recovery of their beloved mother, the religious invoked the Saint with great earnest; and he relied: "When a king is engaged with his queen, do you not think that it would be most unbecoming in a private soldier to interrupt him, by asking him to give his family the pleasure and consolation of seeing her? - thus, it is most unbecoming that anyone should pray for the recovery of others, for their own views, when they are united by patience and good will to the very King of Heaven Himself." Whence we are to learn that when those who glorify God by sickness ask the prayers of the Saints, they merit thereby to become more patient and obtain more abundant and valuable fruit from their infirmity.
Chapter 6
For several months before her death, St. Gertrude entirely lost the use of her speech, and was only able to articulate the words "my spirit" Those who attended her in vain endeavored to ascertain what she meant; indeed it appeared almost miraculous that she was able to pronounce them, while otherwise totally deprived of utterance. As she repeated them constantly, the religious before mentioned, inquired of her heavenly Spouse if they contained any spiritual signification. Our Lord replied: Because I the Lord God, dwelling in her, have drawn and united her spirit to Mine, that she sees Me alone in every creature, therefore in her words, in her answers, and in her prayers, she makes mention of Me as the Person in whom her spirit lives. And whenever she acts thus, I intimate to the whole heavenly host that it to Me alone she looks, and for this she will have everlasting glory in Heaven.
The Saint still listened with the utmost attention when anyone spoke to her of God; and so great was her fervor, that she insisted on being brought daily to assist at the Adorable Sacrifice, although one of her limbs was perfectly useless, and the other was in such a state that she could not bear it to be touched, even in the gentlest manner, without suffering most acute pain. Still she took the greatest care to conceal her real state, and avoided the least gesture of pain, lest she should be deprived of her highest consolation. Her life - long devotion to the Office, now manifest itself to all. At the times at which she had been so long accustomed to watch and pray, she remained wakeful and alert, although even when taking necessary food she was constantly overcome by sleep, consequent on the languor of her disease. It was remarked also that the last time she uttered the words: "My spirit", it appeared as if she intended it as an offering of the Office of Compline, after which she fell into her agony.
Her singular charity and tender affections were manifested with peculiar sweetness during this long last illness. As she could not speak to the sisters who visited her, she exerted her failing strength to testify the pleasure she found in their presence and the depth of her material love, which could not bear to leave one unconsoled. To each she would sweetly use the one _expression, "My spirit", and to each extend her hand caressingly, though she could not move it without severe pain, so like was she to her beloved Spouse, so utterly regardless of her own suffering, when even a passing consolation could be bestowed upon another. And each time the religious left her, she again raised the suffering hand in benediction, well knowing with what devotion that favor had often been sought by her faithful children.
One sister, however was unable to visit her dying Superior: she was herself confined to a bed of suffering; but she was not forgotten. The Saint made such earnest entreaties by signs to those who attended her that at last they compiled with the request and carried her to the religious. She could only say the words so often uttered, but expressed her sympathy and affection for the poor sister by such gentle and tender signs and caresses, that those who stood by could not refrain from tears.
A month after the Saint had lost the use of her speech, she appeared so ill that it was considered necessary to administer the last anointing without delay. As the religious were preparing for the holy rite, Our Divine Lord appeared to St. Gertrude under the form of a Spouse of exceeding beauty, and extended His arms to her, as if to invite her to Himself, moving in whatever direction she turned her face. It was revealed to the religious before mentioned that Our Lord had so much love for His faithful servant, that He ardently desired to receive her into the arms of His mercy, and to put her in possession of the glories of Heaven. The religious inquired how it could be that her beloved mother equaled in merit those virgin Saints whom the Church had canonized because they had shed their blood for the Faith. She received this reply: Since the first year in which she held office as Abbess, she united and conformed her will so perfectly to Mine as to have merited an equal reward. But now that her virtues have increased with her years, I have given her a yet greater share of glory and merit.
When the happy day of release came, which the Saint had so long and so ardently desired, Our Lord appeared to her with His Divine countenance radiant with joy. On His right hand stood His ever blessed Mother, and on His left the beloved disciple John. An immense multitude of Saints attended the King of Saints, and among their glorious ranks were seen a band of virgins, who appeared to the religious of the monastery and joined themselves with them. Our Divine Lord approached the of the dying Saint, showing such marks of tenderness and affection as were more than sufficient to sweeten the bitterness of death. When the Passion was read, at the words, "Et inclinato captite emisit spiritum," Our Lord inclined towards His faithful spouse and opened wide His adorable Heart, as if transported with love, pouring forth all its tenderness on her. It might have seemed enough; but even on earth there was yet more consolation reserved for her who had been faithful (usque ad mortem_ - even until death.
As the sisters prayed and wept around her bed, the religious so favored by Our Lord ventured to address Him thus: "O most sweet Jesus! We beseech Thee, by the goodness which prompted Thee to give us so dear a mother, that, as Thou art about to take her from this world, Thous wouldst condescend to our prayers, and receive her with the same affection as Thou didst Thy Blessed Mother, when she went forth from the body". Then Our Lord, with exceeding clemency turned to His Blessed Mother and said to her; Tell Me, My Mother, what I did most pleasing to you when you were leaving the world, for they ask Me to bestow a similar favor on their mother. My Son, replied the Holy Virgin sweetly, My greatest joy was the grace which You showed Me of receiving Me in the secure asylum of Your holy arms. Our Lord replied: I granted this because My Mother, when on earth, ever remembered My Passion with such intense anguish. Then He added: I granted this favor to My chosen one in recompense for the care which you had, while yet on earth, to meditate often in your mind, and to revere by your grief and your tears, the mystery of My Passion. Gertrude must therefore render herself in some sort worthy if this favor, by the pain and difficulty which she will suffer today in breathing. The patience which she will thus be called to exercise will place her in a state somewhat similar to that to which You were often reduced by the recollection of My sufferings.
St. Gertrude accordingly continued in her agony the entire day, but Our Lord did not leave her to suffer alone. His Heart had already been opened to her, and from thence she drew the help and consolation she needed. Celestial spirits also surrounded her bed, and she beheld them inviting her to Paradise, and heard their celestial harmony as they sung continually: "Come, come, come, O lady! The joys of Heaven await thee! Alleluia Alleluia!"
Chapter 7
The moment of release came at last, and Gertrude passed to the eternal embraces of her Spouse. The religious, whose revelations seemed scarcely less wonderful than those of her saintly Superior, heard Our Divine Lord address her thus: Behold, now, you are to be united to Me, and to become My own forever, by the sweet embrace which I will give to your soul, and in which I will present you to My eternal Father by the close embrace of My Heart, as if Our Lord would say that though His almighty power had detained her until that moment on earth in order that she might amass a greater fund of merit, His extreme goodness, and the impatience of His love, if we may be permitted so to speak, could no longer defer her happiness, or leave His treasure in the mire of earth, but that He desired to transport her without delay to Paradise, and to have the satisfaction of seeing her enjoy eternal blessedness.
"And now this happy and a thousand times blessed soul took her flight to Heaven, and retired into the sanctuary of the Divinity - I mean, into the sweetest Heart of Jesus, the faithful and magnificent Spouse who had opened it to her by so great an excess of His bounty. Who can imagine the feelings which so extraordinary a favor excited in this holy soul, the wonders which she discovered, the glories with which she was enlightened, and the avidity with which she drank in the pure and holy delights which flowed upon her from the Divinity as from a fountain. We will not undertake to speak here of the welcome or of the caresses which she received from her Divine Spouse, which the excellence of His bounty and His infinite perfections rendered so amiable, nor of the joy and the thanksgivings with which the Angels and Saints attended her triumph, nor of the praise which they gave to her eminent virtue - for our mind is too weak and our pen too poor in eloquence to relate such things, and it is both more safe and more agreeable to our duty to content ourselves with sharing in the common joy of the Blessed who assisted at her entrance into glory, and to sing canticles of thanksgiving to God, who by His mercy, has raised her to such a high honor.
"This sun of the religious life, which had shed abroad so far the light of good example, shining no more on earth, and this soul, which was but as a little drop of water in comparison with God, having entered happily into the infinite ocean of the Divinity, from whence she had come forth by creation, the daughters of her monastery were at first quite cast down, and plunged into the obscurity of a dark sadness. They endeavored nevertheless, to rise from this depression, looking with the eyes of faith, as it were across little openings, at the sublime land of glory in which they believed their mother had been placed. But, on the other hand, as they considered the greatness of their loss, and that they had been deprived of so excellent an Abbess, whose like had never been nor could ever hope to be seen by them, they fell again into deep grief and poured forth torrents of tears. But in the end, the hope of their mother's happiness increasing more and more in their souls, they began to rejoice with her, and to beseech her to console them herself with her maternal tenderness and affection, and then they began to manifest their joy by singing the responsory surge, Virgo, et, nostras, which was commenced by that religious who had the greatest share in the confidence of S. Gertrude and in the favors with which Heaven had honored her, and who was therefore the more obliged to interest herself in triumph.
"Thus this virginal body, which had been the temple of Jesus Christ, was borne by the hands of these virgins into the chapel and placed before the altar. Then, all the community, being prostrated in prayer around the corpse, beheld the soul of the Saint, radiant with glory, standing before the throne of the most Holy Trinity, and praying for the salvation of all those who had been formerly under her guidance".
While the Mass was being said for the repose of her soul, the religious who had been so dear to her poured forth her heart to God and represented the excess of her affliction to Him. Our Lord deigned to console her by this reply: Why are you so afflicted for the death of Gertrude? If I have taken her from you, am I not able to supply what is wanting to you? If, after the decease of a gentleman, the lord to whom his lands belong takes possession of them, and unites them to his own domains by a just right, and if this lord has a high reputation for equity, there may well be confidence in him that he will not abandon the children of the deceased, and that he will give them what will be necessary for their subsistence - how much more just is it, then, that you should confide in Me, who am goodness itself, and that you should hope firmly, if you turn to Me with your whole heart, that I will be to you all which she has been, and that I will give to each of you that which you think you have lost in her?
On the following day, when they were preparing to inter the body, before the first Mass, this servant of God offered the Heart of Jesus, with all its marvelous gifts and graces, for the repose of the soul so dear to her. Our Lord received this offering as a vase in the form of a human heart, filled with the most precious wines. Having placed it in His bosom, He called the Saint to Him thus: Come to Me, My little one, and dispose of the goods which your children have sent you". Then the Saint turned to her Beloved, and found in His Heart treasures of all virtues and of all good; she took several, as it were with her hand, and, moved by the tenderness and goodness with which God had filled her, she said: "O my beloved Lord, this grace would be most suitable for the Prioress, and this for another religious, and this for another;" even as when on earth she had known the need of each, which now she desired to supply from the inexhaustible treasures of His Divine Heart.
Then Our Lord, looking at her sweetly said: Come yet nearer to Me, My beloved. The Saint rose joyfully, and placed herself at the left side of Our Lord, who made her look into His Heart, saying: Behold Me now, as I behold you. By this she learned that, in her desire to obtain graces and gifts for others, there had been formerly some natural affection; but this intimate communication with God changed her first desire into a perfect conformity to His Will, for though He loves men far more than they can possibly conceive, He nevertheless, in infinite wisdom, permits that many should continue in certain defects and imperfections, from which He could easily deliver them by His grace.
At the elevation of the Host, the same religious, in offering the Host cojointly with the priest, offered also for the deceased all the movements of filial affection which the Heart of Jesus Christ had for His holy Mother; then Our Lord said lovingly to the soul: Approach, O daughter, that I may manifest to you the filial affection of My most loving Heart. The Blessed Virgin then took this soul in her arms and brought her to her Son, who inclined towards her and testified a filial affection for her with the tenderest charity. The religious renewed the offering at other Masses; but as there were more than twenty celebrated, she desired to offer something still more precious, to increase the merit of her beloved mother. She therefore offered the filial affection which Our Lord had for His Father in His Divinity, and for His Mother in His Humanity. When she made this offering, the Son of God arose, stood before His Father, and called the soul of the deceased to Him, saying: Come hither, lady and queen; for now a greater offering is sent to thee. The Mother of God led her to a more sublime degree of glory, and the religious said to her, "O my venerable mother, I can no longer see you, nor can I know anything of the rank to which your merits have raised you." The Saint replied, "You can still ask me whatever you desire." The religious then said: "My good mother, why do you not pray to God that we may be able to restrain our tears, when you know that many of us have suffered in consequence of our grief, and you could never bear to see us afflicted when on earth?" The Saint replied: "My Lord has so tender and condescending an affection for me, that He makes even those things tend to my advantage and glory which would avail but little for others; and, in recompense for the vigilance and discretion with which I formerly guided you, He permits me to present your tears to Him in a chalice of gold, and in exchange He gives me to drink of the living waters of His Divine sweetness. Therefore it is that, having tasted so agreeable beverage, I sing to My Beloved a canticle of thanksgiving for my daughters and myself."
The religious then inquired if this favor was granted only for the tears they shed purely for God, and from their apprehension that regular observance should suffer by her decease. She replied: "For all the tears, even when caused by human love and tenderness, but when these tears are shed for the glory of God, the Son of God Himself sings thanksgivings with me, and this affords me a joy as great as the difference between the creature and the Creator." Then calling the religious by name, she said to her "My daughter, I have received a particular recompense from God for the fidelity and zeal with which I led you to act for the glory of God in the matter you know of. For my beloved Lord Jesus sings continually in my heart a song of love, for which I am glorified by the whole court of Heaven. My ears are entertained with a ravishing melody; my eyes behold a glorious light; I inhale and taste a most sweet fragrance, but there are other pleasures which I could have enjoyed, and of which I am deprived because I had been a little negligent in this affair, although I did all with a good intention and to promote peace."
When the bell was rung at the elevation of the Host, the religious offered It to supply the deficiencies of the deceased; when she had done so, It appeared to the soul of the deceased in the form of a radiant scepter, which seemed to move before her in a marvelous manner. But when she desired to touch it, she was unable, because what is neglected in this life cannot be repaired or supplied perfectly in the other. Nevertheless, as the Saint, by a special gift of God, excelled in gratitude and thankfulness, she prayed for all who had come to assist at her obsequies; and she obtained for many the pardon of their sins, and an increase of grace to regulate their lives better and to perform good works.
When the priest was giving the Benediction at the end of Mass, the religious beheld her blessed mother standing before the throne of the Most Holy Trinity, where she prayed thus: "Giver of gifts, grant, I beseech Thee, that whenever any of my daughters shall go my tomb to make known theirs griefs to me, or their imperfections and defects, that they may receive such consolation and support as to know that I am still their mother." This prayer was heard, for God, by His almighty power, His wisdom, and His goodness, granted special favors there to each religious. When the body if the Saint was placed in the tomb, Our Lord, to confirm His promise, was seen to make the Sign of the Cross on the body each time that earth was cast on it; and after it was entirely covered, the Blessed Mother of Our Lord also made the Sign of the Cross on the tomb, as a further assurance that her Son had granted this favor to the Saint.
Chapter 8
After the corpse had been interred, while the response Regnum mundi was being sung, wonderful signs of the beatitude of Gertrude were beheld in Heaven, and the very walls and pavement of the monastery seemed to thrill with joy. The Saint appeared, with a troop of virgins of admirable beauty. She held a lily and other flowers in her right hand, and on her left conducted the religious of her community who had already attained eternal beatitude.
In this glorious triumph they came before the throne of God, and when the words quem vidi were chanted, God the Father bestowed gifts on them; at the words quem amavi, God the Son bestowed His liberality on them; and at the In quem credidi, the Holy Spirit granted similar favors. When they had sung quem dilexi, St. Gertrude turned towards her heavenly Spouse and saluted Him with ardent love. As they chanted the response Liberame, Domine, many souls were seen entering Heaven with great joy, who had been released through the Masses said that day, and by the merits of the Saint. Among others was a lay brother who had been somewhat negligent in spiritual things, but who had been much relieved by the intercession of the Saint.
On the thirtieth day St. Gertrude appeared again to this religious, but with a splendor which far surpassed the visions she had seen before. The reason for this was that God willed that the merit which she had acquired by His grace in suffering her infirmities and sickness with so much patience should appear exteriorly, and that the beauty of her soul should shine forth visibly. A book of gold, richly adorned, was seen before the throne of God, in which were written all the instructions she had given to those persons who had been under her guidance while she was on earth, to which was yet to be added all the advancement in virtue which they had attained either by her teaching or example.
At Mass, the religious prayed with great fervor that Our Lord would reward her blessed mother for her maternal love and care. Our Lord replied: I grant your prayer, and consent that each of you should make a similar petition to Me, for I have such a good will for this soul, that there is scarcely any gift or grace which I am not disposed to grant her. Then, looking at the Saint lovingly, He said: You have bestowed your benefits well, since they are returned to you so gratefully. Gertrude then prostrated before the throne of His glory to thank Him for the fidelity of those who had been formerly under her guidance, and said: "Eternal, boundless, and unceasing praise be to Thee, my sweetest Lord, for all Thy benefits; and blessed be the moment in which Thou didst will to prepare and sustain me to receive such rewards. O God of my life, do Thou answer them for me". Our Lord replied: I will fix the eyes of My mercy upon them. He then made the Sign of the Cross twice with His most holy hand, and by this He gave to each member of the community the grace of giving good example and the grace of having a pure intention of Divine love in their hearts.
Twelve days after the death of St. Gertrude, one of her spiritual daughters was also called to her eternal reward. Her death added much to the affliction of the religious, for her innocence and purity of heart had made her singularly beloved. As for the favored religious wept and prayed for her, and thought of how much her sisters had been deprived in losing her good example and her wise counsels, she ventured to exclaim: "Ah, my beloved Lord! Why have You taken her so suddenly from us?" Our Lord replied: While you were burying Gertrude, My beloved, I was taking My delight among your devoted community, where I had descended to feed upon the lilies; and as I beheld this lily, which pleased Me exceedingly, I took it in My hand, and as I held it therein for eleven days before breaking it from the stem, it increased marvelously in beauty and in the odor of sanctity, and then I took it to Myself for My own special delight. He then added: When any of you reflect on the pleasure you found in the society and desire to enjoy it again, if you offer that desire to Me, it renews the pleasure I find in the fragrance of this lily, and I will return it a hundredfold.
As the religious, like a faithful and loving sister, offered the Host at the Elevation for her soul, with all the fidelity of the Heart of Jesus, she saw her elevated to a higher and yet more sublime degree of glory, where her garments shone marvelously, and she was honored by blessed spirits. And this she beheld whenever she made this offering for her.
Then, as she inquired of our Divine Lord why the sister had appeared in great fear and alarm during her agony, she received this reply: It was for her own good and an effect of My mercy. For during her sickness she desired very much to be assisted by your prayers, so that she might be admitted in to Heaven immediately. I promised you this favor, which she believed she would obtain from Me. I was pleased with her confidence and determined to do her yet more good than I had before purposed. But as young persons seldom purify themselves from slight negligences such as seeking too much amusement, and taking pleasure in what is useless - and as it was necessary that she should be purified from these little stains by the inconveniences and pains of sickness, before I could bring her to Heaven, I could not bear that, after having endured all with so much resignation and patience, she should still be unable to enjoy this blessedness. I therefore permitted her to be further tried by fear, caused by the sight of evil spirits; and thus she became perfectly purified, and merited eternal glory. "But where wert Thou, then, O Lord?" inquired the religious. Our Lord replied: I was hidden on her left side; and as soon as she was sufficiently purified, I showed Myself to her, and took her with Me to eternal rest and glory.
Chapter 9
Another religious died soon after, who from her infancy had been specially devoted to the Mother of God. After she had received the last Sacraments, and when she appeared almost dead, she gave singular edification to the religious by the affection and compunction with which she kissed the wounds of a crucifix which was presented to her, addressing it in tenderest words. After pouring forth the most ardent and fervent ejaculations for pardon of her sins, for the protection of her Spouse in her last moments and for the assistance of the Blessed Virgin, the Angels and Saints, her strength failed, and she passed as in a quiet sleep to her eternal reward. As the community were reciting the usual prayers for the repose of her soul, Our Lord appeared to a religious with the deceased in His arms, saying to her, caressingly, So you know Me, My child? Then she who was favored with this vision prayed that Our Lord would specially reward that soul for her humble and efficacious charity in having served her on many occasions, and for having been specially earnest in doing service to those religious who were most holy and devoted to God, in order that she might share in their merits and graces. Our Lord therefore presented His deified Heart to her, saying: Drink freely from Me a reward for all which thou didst when on earth for My elect.
On the following day, at Mass, the soul appeared as if seated in Our Lord's bosom and His Blessed Mother appeared to rejoice this soul by a communication of her merits. This was specially the case whole the community recited the Psalter for her, with the Ave Maria, so that at each word the Mother of Our Lord appeared to make presents to this soul, who received them to increase her merit before God. While they prayed thus, the religious desired much to know what faults the deceased had committed, from which it had been necessary to purify her before her death, and she prayed God to make this known to her. As her prayer was the result of a Divine inspiration, and not of an idle curiosity, it was heard; and Our Lord replied: She took some complacence in her own judgment; but I purified her from this, by causing her to die before the community had finished the prayers which they were offering for her. This troubled her much because she feared it would prove an obstacle to her happiness by depriving her of the assistance which she hoped to derive from the prayers of others.
To this the religious replied: "Lord, could she not have been purified from this by the sentiments of compunction which she had in imploring pardon for all her sins at the last moment of her life?" Our Lord replied: This general contrition was not sufficient because she still had some confidence in her own judgment, and was not perfectly docile to those who instructed her; and therefore, it was necessary that she should be purified by this suffering." He added: She also needed purification for having sometimes neglected the grace of Confession, but My goodness remitted this fault to her for the sake of some persons whom I honor with My friendship, and of others who had charge of her, and for the pain and mortification I caused her by obliging her to confess against her inclination on the day of her death; and then I pardoned her all the omissions she had been guilty of in this matter.
At the Mass, when they sung at the offertory Hostias ac-preces, Our Lord elevated His right hand and shed forth from it a marvelous light, which illuminated the whole Heaven, but especially this soul, which was in the bosom of Our Lord. Then the Saints approached, each according to their rank, and placed their merits as an offering on the breast of Jesus to supply for the deficiencies of this soul. The religious knew that they acted thus because, when that soul was on earth, she had been accustomed to pray that the Saints would give this assistance to the souls of the deceased. The Saints then testified their affection for her by endeavoring to increase her happiness, and the virgins caressed her specially, as having, in common with them, the excellent grace of virginity.
On another occasion, when the religious prayed for this soul, with few but ardent words, it appeared to her that all her words were engraven on the bosom of Jesus, and formed there so many little windows, which opened into the Heart of Jesus. Then she heard Our Lord say to this soul: Look through Heaven , and see if there is any grace in the Saints which you would desire to have, and draw it from My Heart through these little openings.
The religious knew, further, that each prayer which was made devoutly for her produced the same effect. At the Elevation of the Host, Our Lord appeared to present His sacred Body to this soul, under the form of a spotless lamb; having embraced it devoutly, she became entirely changed in this embrace because she obtained new joys and a more clear knowledge of the Divinity. Then the religious begged her to pray for those who were under her guidance, and she replied: "I will pray for them, but I can desire nothing except what I see to be conformable to the Will of my beloved Lord." The religious replied: "Is it not advantageous to them to hope in your prayers?" She answered: "It will avail them much for Our Lord to behold their earnest desire for our intercession." "But" continued the religious, "can you not pray especially for your special friends, if they have not asked your prayers?" She replied:"Our Lord, of His infinite charity, grants them particular favors for our sake." "Since this is the case, pray specially for the priest who communicates for you." The soul answered: "He will afford me double advantage, because, as the Lord receives it from him and returns it to me, so will He return to him what I have gained thereby, as gold appears to greater advantage when contrasted with colors."
"From what you say" continued the religious, "it would appear that it is more salutary to celebrate Mass for the dead than for any other intention?" She replied: "When this is done through charity, it is of more avail than if the Mass were said merely as a sacerdotal duty." "And how know you all these things?" inquired the religious, "since you appeared to know so little when on earth?" The soul replied: "I know it from the Source of which St. Augustine speaks. When God looks into the soul, it learns all things."
Once, as the religious beheld this soul clothed with a scarlet robe, and in a high degree of glory, she inquired of Our Lord how she had merited such favors. He replied: I have done for her what I have promised through you, by clothing her with My Passion to reward her for an occasion on which her heart was greatly depressed, and yet she did not exempt herself from the ordinary duties of the order, and although she had to do more than her strength allowed, she did not complain much of it. He added: And for the weakness and exhaustion which she suffered in her sickness, I have caused her to be accompanied by the princes of My kingdom, who make her find a special satisfaction in the glory which she enjoys: and I have recompensed her so abundantly for what she endured, that she desires to have suffered a hundred times more.
The religious also beheld many souls kneeling before her to testify their gratitude for their deliverance from Purgatory, through the prayers which had been offered for her, and which she had not needed. She inquired if the community would obtain any advantage from this, and they replied: "It is certainly very advantageous to you, for Our Lord will pour forth grace on you for each." In another Mass, which was not for the dead, the religious inquired of this soul what fruit she could obtain thereby, as it was not for the dead. The soul replied: "And what share has a queen in the possession of the king her lord? Know that I am so closely united to the King my Lord and my beloved Spouse, that I share in all His goods, as a queen is admitted to the table of the king; for which, may the King of kings be eternally praised and glorified!"
Chapter 10
St. Gertrude was never formally canonized. Benedict X1V says, that her cultus was first permitted on the 7th of October, 1606, four centuries after her death, when, by a degree of the Sacred Congregation of Rites, an office was granted to the nuns of the monastery of St. John Evangelist, of the city of Licia. Onthe 20th of June, 1609, the nuns of the Conception of the Blessed Virgin of Mexico obtained a similar favor, the Office being a double. The Benedictine monks and nuns of the Congregation of Cassiensis were granted a double, ad lib., on the 19th of December, 1654. The beautiful Office of the Saint, at present in use, was composed by Dom G. H. Vaillant. In the Bibliotheque Generale des Ecivains de l'Ordre de St. Benoit t. iii, p. 170, we find the following details: "Dom Bernard Audebert, Superior General of the Congregation of st. Maur, having established the Feast of St. Gertrude in 1673, whose cultus was already famous in Rome, Spain and the Indies, Dom Vaillant, of the same Congregation, composed the Office of the holy Benedictine Abbess, which was chanted from this year in the monasteries of the congregation. The author uses the most tender expressions of the Canticle of Canticles - a language which only suits a small number of holy souls, who are elevated above earthly things."
It is more difficult to ascertain why the Office was transferred to March. The Maurist fathers made this change in a general chapter, possibly because there are so many feasts in November; but again the question arises why they chose a day already occupied by St. Gertrude of Nivelle. As far as we have been able to ascertain, the Feast is celebrated on the 15th of November by the Benedictine Order, with the exception of this congregation. The 17th of November was the day first appointed for the festival, but, as Benedict X1V quaintly observes, it was found that this day was already occupied by a Bishop and Doctor of the Church, and as St. Gregory Thaumaturgus had in his life time moved mountains from their place, it was not seemly that after his death he should be removed out of his place by a woman, or give precedence to a virgin. Moreover the days of St. Gertrude's decease was doubtful; it occurred soon after the Feast ofSt. Lebuin (November 12), and this was the only guide to a decision. A decree was then published, urbis et orbis (sic). The Sacred Congregation of Rites, at the instance of the King of Poland, approved an Office conformable to the Roman Breviary for "Christians of both sexes, secular as well as regular, who are bound to the Canonical Hours" This was authorized by His Holiness Clement X11, on March 9, 1739.
The questions of the Saint's canonization had been raised previously. In the year 1677, the insertion of her name in the Roman Martyrology was proposed. Bothinius, Archbishop of Myra, then Promoter of the Faith, declared that there was no document warranting either her canonization or beatification. "However," Benedict X1V adds, "I find the following note in his own hand writing: 'After writing the above, a plenary indulgence, authorized by a brief, was obtained on the Feast of the Saint, which carries much weight with it, because according to the decrees of Alexander V11, of happy memory, such indulgence is not granted to anyone not previously named in the Martrology; and at present (whatever may have been the case previous to the decree aforesaid), it is generally refused. But the official secretaries stated that they found St. Gertrude described in their books as la magna, and therefore entitled to be inserted in said Martyrology.'"
The name was therefore inserted on the 22nd of January, 1678, but without any special eulogium. The words "who was remarkable for the gift of revelation" were added afterwards. It is generally believed that the five books known as the Insinuationes Divinae Pietatis were first translated from the original German by Lanspergius. Benedict X1V mentions a previous work by Lamberto Luscorino, written in 1390; "but this," he adds "as far as I know was never published." Lanspergius says, at the conclusion of his Preface, that after a most diligent search he could obtain only one copy in Latin, the first book of which was so torn and mutilated that he was obliged to translate the same from the German into Latin and adopt the Latin copy for the remainder. From this it may be reasonably inferred that the work had been already translated and edited, but there is no doubt the edition of Lanspergius was the first to bring the Revelations into general notice. How one longs to know if the "Teutonic" copy which he used was the original manuscript of the Saint, and where he obtained it!
Lanspergius wrote at the close of the fifteenth and at the commencement of the sixteenth century. He was born at Lansburg, in Bavaria, and entered the Order of Carthusians at Cologne while still young. His piety and devotion procured for him the distinctive appellation of "the Just". He died in 1539, before he had attained his fiftieth year. His works, which are principally ascetical, breathe a singularly devout and pious spirit; they were published at Cologne, in five quarto volumes, 1693.
The Preface which he prefixed to the Insinuationes has been republished by all who have since edited the work. The title of Insinuationes, so expressive in the Latin, so impossible to be translated into English, which he was the first to prefix to the Revelations of St. Gertrude, has also been retained. Lanspergius commences his Preface by observing "that no one should be surprised if, in the present day, when the Holy Scripture is inquired for by all", he should have brought out a book of revelations; and he anticipates objection to the work by observing that even those who carp at such disclosures when made to religious, cannot deny that the Old Testament itself is entirely a volume of revelations. He suggests that objectors to such Divine manifestations must be of the number of those from whom Christ Himself declares His secrets to have been hidden by the Father, as being the "wise and prudent" of the world. It is for the "little ones" that he uncovers his candle, which has been too long hidden under a bishel; but considering himself a debtor to all, he feels bound to declare that nothing shall be found in this volume which is contrary to Scripture, or which may not be proven thereby. He continues:
"Let the reader further learn that we possess the profoundest veneration for the Scripture, so that we do not attribute equal authority to any other work, however sublime; but we must confess - such is the kindness and profuseness of Divine love - that there is no sex, age, condition, which it will not condescend to illuminate, or entice and invite, according to its capacity or its power of being so attracted. And thus God has established in His Church, not only various ecclesiastical writers, but also various methods of teaching, of phrase and of _expression, and that in both sexes, so that everyone may be instructed, illuminated and edified according to his taste.
"But some will perhaps object that these revelations were made to a woman, and either despising or suspecting the whole female race, will think that, no matter how holy a virgin or woman may be, she must of necessity be frail and unstable, having nothing manly (which means perfect) about her - as if holy women have not often been more constant in virtue, more ready for martyrdom, more chary of their chastity, more full of mercy, more intent in averting God's anger, than many men, and have given us examples of virtue which are very often superior to those of men. We men, therefore, should rather be confounded when we reflect on them, and look up to the whole sex with veneration.
"I will not deny that the same sex, that is, certain pious virgins or women devoted to God, when left to themselves, and unaided by any help from God, are by no means beyond suspicion; for vainglory, to which females are very much exposed, or a vain complacency in themselves, leads them to believe that what was entirely human was really a Divine inspiration; and at other times, delighted with the applause and esteem of men, they have considered themselves far better and superior to what they are in reality.
"Such people, however, are easily detected. An impostor, especially a female one, cannot escape very long, because wherever the deepest foundation of humility is not laid, the whole edifice falls ignominiously. But where real humility exits, such humility as those possess, and as all should possess, who cling to God alone from pure, simple and chaste affection, whatever sex such belong to, they will neither be deceived nor will they wish to deceive others. For though they may feel some heavenly motion, or receive some unusual celestial grace, it troubles them, it raises much doubt in their mind, how such can come from God - how such can happen to them, weak, contemptible mere nothings as they are - how God could come to know them at all; and they look upon it as nigh absurd for God, by such singular gifts, to prefer them to others, or to do any such thing for them in preference to others."
He then speaks of the humility of the Blessed Virgin when saluted by the Angel and says that those who are truly humble and holy will not believe any revelations or vision until assured by those who direct them. God speaks to whom He pleases, and makes no distinction of sex, unless indeed it be given more abundantly to the weaker when they deserve it by humility and devotion. But though he chose to speak through Balaam's ass, we are not therefore to call the ass blessed. But we call St. Gertrude blessed, such was her sanctity, purity and sincerity in seeking God's glory and His Will in all things, as to merit being the medium of revealing His secrets to us.
Lanspergius then shows that the character of these Revelations is such as to make them of general utility to the Church, as there is "nothing obscure, nothing doubtful; no prophecy of the future; nothing but what we can desire and wish for - namely, the extent of God's kindness, clemency and compassion"; and that "they show with what a most benign Providence He deals with His singular friends, who, renouncing their own desires, seek His Will alone, and how He promotes them to salutary, then to better, and then to the choicest gifts".
He then enumerates the various women mentioned in Scripture who have either prophesied or even had rule over God's people, commencing with Debbora and ending with Elizabeth and Anna. "I say nothing if the Female, the Virgin Mary, the most worthy, not only of women, but also of all created beings, for it is not seemly to compare her with anyone, since she excels them all as the sun outshines the stars."
The good Carthusian returns again to what seems a favorite theme, and says he passes over the details which he might have given of the glorious triumphs, the constancy and the endurance of female martyrs, and, with a brief condemnation of those ecclesiastics who because they are, or think themselves, "men of great importance, and high in the esteem of the people, despise the weaker sex", and restrain the devout from communicating as frequently as they desire, he passes on to a panegyric on the learning of the Saint and her sanctity: " As regards her sanctity, she so abounded in the virtues, that you could not say which was most prominent. Look at her humility - you can find nothing like it; at her chastity - you would say she excelled in it; observe her mildness and kindness - you would put them before the others; for she was so advanced in each virtue, you would say each was her principal one".
He next considers the practices of devotion which she saw proposes, especially that of uniting all our actions, however trifling, to those of Our Divine Lord: "Oh, the bargain!" he exclaims; "would he not be considered a fool who would not give a peace of copper for a heap of gold, or a flint for a pearl?" Thus are all our good actions turned to immense account, and become of great value to us, inasmuch as by our intention of uniting them with the oblation of Christ, they become part and parcel of His merits. Further, if we do all this not merely for ourselves but for others, and above all for Holy Church, our gain is increased, God is more glorified and the Church is strengthened and supported: "for all property, the more common it becomes, the more heavenly it becomes" - words surely worth noting and treasuring in every stage of our spiritual life.
The testimonies of various divines and doctors who had examined the Revelations are next adduced. The most approved theologians among the Dominicans and Franciscans were employed upon it; among others, Brother Henry of Mulhusen, and a certain Father called a Burgo, belonging to the Friars Minors at Halbustat, a person highly esteemed for his learning about the year 1300. He also observes: "There were many other learned persons, especially among the Friars Preachers, who conversed with her in her lifetime and testified to her learning and sincerity. The testimony of one who sent the following, after a most accurate revision of the book, I cannot withhold: 'I consider that no one having the Spirit of God in him can either find fault with or impugn anything written in this book. Nerved by the Spirit of Truth, from who all wisdom emnanates, I offer and hold myself bound unto death to meet anyone in defense of the holy and Catholic doctrine contained in it".
Such a testimony from a member of an Order ever distinguished for its theological learning and calm judgment will carry a weight with it which renders further observation unnecessary; and as the arrangements of the work has been fully explained elsewhere, we will conclude in the graceful and holy words of our author: "Farewell, therefore, courteous reader; we ask for your forgiveness for any oversight herein, for none certainly has been deliberate. Here look for and study what is right and perfect; and may God, through the intercession of the same pious virgin and the prayers of all pious readers hereof, have mercy upon me".
End Book 1
Book 2: The Revelations of Saint Gertrude.
Written by the Saint Herself.
Chapter 1
Let the Abyss of Uncreated Wisdom invoke the Abyss of Omnipotent Power to praise and extol the amazing charity which, by an an excess of Thine infinite mercy, O most sweet God of my life and only Love of my soul, hast led Thee through a desert, pathless, and dry land - that is, through the many obstacles I have placed to Thy mercy - to descend into the valley of my miseries.
I was in the twenty - sixth year of my age when, on the Monday before the Feast of the Purification of Thy most chaste Mother, in a happy hour, after Compline, at the close of day, Thou the true Light, Who art clearer than any light, and yet deeper than any recess, having resolved to dissipate the obscurity of my darkness, didst sweetly and gently commence my conversion by appeasing the trouble which Thou hadst excited my soul for more than a month, which Thou didst deign to use, as I believe, to destroy the fortress of vainglory and curiosity which my pride had raised up within me, although I bore the name and habit of a religious to no purpose. But Thou didst will to use this means, that Thou mightest thereby show me Thy salvation.
Being, then, in the middle of our dormitory at the hour I have named, and having inclined to an ancient religious according to our rule, on raising my head I beheld Thee, my most loving Love and my Redeemer, surpassing in beauty the children of men, under the form of a youth of sixteen years, beautiful and amiable, and attracting my heart and my eyes by the infinite light of Thy glory, which Thou hast the goodness to proportion to the weakest of my nature; and standing before me, Thou didst utter these words, full of tenderness and sweetness: Thy salvation is at hand; why art thou so changed by sadness? When Thou hadst spoken thus, although I knew that I stood corporally in the place I have mentioned, it seemed to me, nevertheless, that I was in our choir, in the corner where I had been accustomed to offer up my tepid prayers, and that there I heard these words: I will save thee, I will deliver thee; fear not; and after I had heard them, I saw Thee place Thy right hand in mine, as if to ratify Thy promise.
Then I heard Thee speak thus: You have licked the dust with My enemies, and you have sucked honey amidst thorns; but return now to Me - I will receive you,, and inebriate you with the torrent of My celestial delights. When Thou hadst said these words, my soul melted within me, and as I desired to approach Thee, I beheld between Thee and me (I mean, from Thy right hand to my left hand) a hedge of such prodigious length that I could see no end to it either before or behind, and the top of it appeared so set with thorns that I could find no way to return to Thee, Thou only consolation of my soul. Then I paused to weep over my faults and crimes, which were doubtless figured by this hedge which divided us. In the ardor of the desires with which I desired Thee, and in my weakness, O charitable Father of the poor, "whose mercies are over all Thy works", Thou didst take me by the hand, and placed me near Thee instantly without difficulty, so that casting my eyes upon the precious Hand which Thou hadst extended to me as a pledge of Thy promises, I recognized, O sweet Jesus, Thy radiant wounds, which have made of no effect the handwriting that was against us.
By these and other illuminations Thou didst enlighten and soften my mind, detaching me powerfully, by an interior unction, from an inordinate love of literature and from all my vanities, so that I only despised those things which had formerly pleased me; and all that was not Thee, O God of my heart, appeared vile to me, and Thou alone wert pleasing to my soul. And I praise, bless, adore and thank from my inmost, as far as I am able, but not as far as I ought, Thy wise mercy and Thy merciful wisdom, that Thou, my Creator and Redeemer, didst endeavor in so loving a manner to submit my unconquerable self - opinionatedness to the sweetness of Thy yoke, composing a beverage suitable to my temperament, which has infused new light into my soul, so that I began to run after the odor of Thy ointments, and Thy yoke became sweet and Thy burden light, though a little while before they had appeared hard and almost unbearable.
Chapter 2
Hail, Salvation and Light of my soul! May all that is in Heaven, in earth, and in the abyss return thanks to Thee for the extraordinary grace which has led my soul to know and consider what passes within my heart, of which I had no more care formerly than (if I may speak) of what passes within my hands or feet. But after the infusion of Thy most sweet light, I saw many things in my heart which offended Thy purity, and I even perceived that all within me was in such disorder and confusion that Thou couldst not abide therein. Nevertheless, my most loving Jesus, neither all these defects, nor all my unworthiness, prevented Thee from honoring me with Thy visible presence nearly every day that I receive the life giving nourishment of Thy Body and Thy Blood, although I only beheld Thee indistinctly, as one who sees at dawn: Thou didst endeavor by this sweet compliance to attract my soul, so that it might be entirely united to Thee, and that I might know Thee better and enjoy Thee more fully. And as I disposed myself to labor for the obtaining of these favors on the Feast of the Annunciation of Thy Mother, when Thou didst ally Thyself with our nature in her virginal womb - Thou who saidest: Here I am before I called Thee Thou didst anticipate this day by pouring forth on me , unworthy though I am, on the Vigil of the Feast, the sweetness of Thy benediction, at Chapter, which was held after Matins, on account of the Sunday following.
But since it is not possible for me to describe in what manner thou didst visit me, O Orient from on high, in the bowels of Thy mercy and sweetness, permit me, O Giver of gifts, to immolate a sacrifice of Thanksgiving to Thee on the altar of my heart, in order to obtain for myself and for all Thine elect the blessedness of experiencing frequently this union of sweetness and this sweetness of union, which before this time was utterly unknown to me. For when I reflect on the kind of life which I led formerly, and which I have led since, I protest in truth that it is pure of Thy grace, which Thou hast given me without any merit of mine.
Thou didst give me from henceforward a more clear knowledge of Thyself which was such that the sweetness of Thy love led me to correct my faults far more than the fear of the punishments with which Thy just anger threatened me. But I do not remember ever to have enjoyed so great happiness at any other time as during these days I speak, in which Thou didst invite me to the delights of Thy royal table; and I know not for certain whether it is Thy wise Providence which has deprived me of them, or whether it is my negligence which has drawn on me this chastisement.
Chapter 3
Whilst Thou didst act so lovingly towards me and didst not cease to draw my soul from vanity and to Thyself, it happened on a certain day, between the Festival of the Resurrection and Ascension, that I went into the court before Prime and seated myself near the fountain; and I began to consider the beauty of the place, which charmed me on account of the clear and flowing stream, the vendure of the trees which surrounded it, and the flight of the birds, and particularly of the doves - above all, the sweet calm - apart from all, and considering within myself what would make this place most useful to me, I thought that it would be the friendship of a wise and intimate companion, who would sweeten my solitude or render it useful to others: When Thou, my Lord and my God, who art a torrent of inestimable pleasure, after having inspired me with the first impulse of this desire, Thou didst will to be also the end of it, inspiring me with the thought that if by continual gratitude I return Thy graces to Thee as a stream returns to its source; if, increasing in the love of virtue, I put forth, like the trees, the flowers of good works; further more, if despising the things of the earth, I fly upward, freely, like the birds, and thus free my senses from the distraction of exterior things, my soul would then be empty and my heart would be an agreeable abode for Thee.
As I was occupied with the recollection of these things, during the same day, having knelt after Vespers for my evening prayer before retiring to rest, this passage of the Gospel came suddenly to my mind: If any man love Me, he will keep My word and We will come to him and will make Our abode with him. (John 14:23). At these words my worthless heart perceived Thee, O my sweet God and my delight, present therein. Oh, that all the waters of the sea were changed into blood, that I might pass them over my head, and thus wash away my exceeding vileness, which Thou hast chosen for Thine abode! Or that my heart might be torn this moment from my body and cast into a furnace, that it might be purified from its dross, and made at least less unworthy of Thy presence! For Thou my God, since that hour, hast treated me sometimes with sweetness and sometimes with severity, as I have amended or been negligent; although, to speak the truth, when the most perfect amendment which I could attain, even for a moment, should have lasted my whole life, it could not merit to obtain for me the most trifling or the least condescending of the graces which I have ever received from Thee, so great are my crimes and sins. The excess of Thy goodness obliges me to believe that the sight of my faults rather moves Thee to fear Thou wilt see me perish than to excite Thine anger, making me know that Thy patience in supporting my defects until now, with so much goodness, is greater than the sweetness with Thou didst bear with the perfidious Judas during Thy mortal life; and although my mind takes pleasure in wandering after and in distracting itself with perishable things, yet, after some hours, after some days, and, alas, I must add, after whole weeks, when I return into my heart, I find Thee there, so that I cannot complain that Thou hast left me even for a moment, from that time until this year, which is the ninth since I received this grace, except once, when I perceived that Thou didst leave me for the space of eleven days, before the Feast of St. John Baptist - and it appeared to me that this happened on account of a worldly conversation the Thursday preceding, and Thy absence lasted until the Vigil of St. John, when the Mass Ne timeas, Zacharia, is then said. Then Thy sweetest humanity and Thy stupendous charity moved Thee to seek me, when I had reached such a pitch of madness, that I thought no more of the greatness of the treasure I had lost, and for the loss of which I do not remember to have felt any grief at that time, nor even to have had the desire of recovering it.
I cannot now be sufficiently amazed at the mania which possessed my soul, unless, indeed, it was that Thou didst desire me to know by my own experience what St. Bernard said: "When we fly from Thee, Thou pursuest us; when we turn our backs, Thou dost present Thyself before us; when we despise Thee, Thou dost entreat us; and there is neither insult nor contempt which hinders Thee from laboring unweariedly to bring us to the attainment of that which eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, and which the heart of man cannot comprehend."
As Thou didst bestow on me Thy first graces without any merit on my part, so now that I have had a second relapse, which is worse than the first, and renders me yet more unworthy to receive Thee, Thou hast deigned to give me the joy of Thy presence without interruption, until this very hour: for which be praise and thanksgiving to Thee as the Source of all good; and that it may please Thee as the Source of all good, and that it may please Thou to preserve this precious grace in me, I offer Thee that excellent prayer which Thou didst utter with such amazing fervor when sweating blood in agony, and which the burning love of Thy Divinity and Thy pure devotion rendered so efficacious, beseeching Thou, by virtue if this most perfect prayer, to draw and unite me entirely to Thyself, that I may remain inseparably attached to Thee, even when I am obliged to attend to exterior duties for the good of my neighbor, and that afterwards I may return again to seek Thee within me, when I have accomplished them for Thy glory in the most perfect manner possible, even as the wind, when agitated by a tempest, return again to their former calm when it has ceased; that Thou mayest find me as zealous in laboring for Thee as Thou hast been assiduous in helping me: and that, by this means, Thou mayest elevate me to the highest degree of perfection to which Thy justice can permit Thy mercy to raise so carnal and rebellious a creature, so that Thou mayest receive my soul into Thy hands when I breathe my last sigh, and conduct it with a kiss of peace where Thou dwellest, who reignest indivisibly and eternally with the Father and the Holy Spirit for endless ages Amen.
Chapter 4
I believe it was during the winter of the first or second year, when I began to receive these favors, that I met the following prayer in a book of devotions: "O Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God, grant that I may aspire towards Thee with my whole heart, with full desire and with thirsty soul, seeking only Thy sweetness and Thy delights, so that my whole mind and all that is within me may most ardently sigh to Thee, who art our true Beatitude. O most merciful Lord, engrave Thy Wounds upon my heart with Thy Most Precious Blood, that I may read in them both Thy grief and Thy love; and that the memory of Thy Wounds may ever remain in my inmost heart, to excite my compassion for Thy sufferings and to increase in me Thy love. Grant me also to despise all creatures, and that my heart may delight in Thee alone, Amen.
Having learned this prayer with great satisfaction, I repeated it frequently, and Thou, Who despisest not the prayer of the humble, heard my petitions; for soon after, during the same winter, being in the refectory after Vespers, for collation, I was seated near a person to whom I had made known my secret. I relate this things for the benefit of those who may read what I write, because I have often perceived that the fervor of my devotion is increased by this kind of communication; but I know not for certain, O Lord my God, whether it was Thy Spirit , or perhaps human affection , made me act thus, although I have heard from those experienced in such matters that it is always better to reveal these secrets - not indifferently to all, but chiefly to those who are not only our friends, but to who we are bound to reverence; yet, as I am doubtful, as I have said, I commit all Thy faithful Providence, whose spirit is sweeter than honey. If this fervor arose from any human affection, I am even more bound to have a profound gratitude for it, since Thou hast deigned to unite the mire of my vileness to the precious gold of Thy charity, so that they precious stones of Thy grace might be encased in me.
Being seated in the refectory, as I said before, I thought attentively on these things, when I perceived that the grace which I had so long asked by the aforesaid prayer was granted to me, unworthy though I am; for I perceived in spirit that Thou hadst imprinted in the depth of my heart the adorable marks of Thy sacred Wounds, even as they are on the Body, that Thou hadst cured my soul, in imprinting these Wounds on it, and that to satisfy its thirst, Thou hadst given it the precious beverage of Thy love.
But my unworthiness had not yet exhausted the abyss of Thy mercy, for I received from Thine overflowing liberality this remarkable gift - that each time during the day in which I endeavored to apply myself in spirit to those adorable wounds saying five verses of the Psalm Benedic, anima mea, Domino (Ps. 102), I never failed to receive some new favor. At the first verse, "Bless the Lord O my soul," I deposited all the rust of my sins and my voluptuousness at the Wounds of Thy blessed Feet; at the second verst, "Bless the Lord, and never forget all He hath done for thee". I washed away all the stains of carnal and perishable pleasures in the sweet bath of Blood and Water which Thou didst pour forth for me; at the third verse, "Who forgiveth all thine iniquities," I reposed my spirit in the Wound of Thy Left Hand, even as the dove makes its nest in the crevice of the rock; at the fourth verse, "Who redeemeth thy life from destruction," I approached Thy Right Hand, and took from thence all that I needed for my perfection in virtue; and being thus magnificently adorned, I passed to the fifth verse, "Who satisfieth thy desire with good things", that I might be purified from all the defilement of sin, and have the indogence of my wants supplied, so that I might become worthy of Thy presence - though of myself I am utterly unworthy - and might merit the joy of Thy chaste embraces.
I declare also that Thou hast freely granted my other petition - namely, that I might read Thy grief and Thy love together. But, alas, this did not continue long, although, I cannot accuse Thee of having withdrawn it from me, but I complain of having lost it myself by my own negligence. This Thine excessive goodness and infinite mercy has hidden from itself, and has procured to me, without any merit on my part, the greatest of Thy gifts - the impression of Thy Wounds - for which be praise and honor, glory, dominion and thanksgiving to Thee for endless ages!
Chapter 5
Seven years after, a little before Advent, by Thine ordinance, Who art the Source of all good, I engaged a certain person to say this prayer every day for me before a crucifix, "O most Loving Lord, by Thy pierced Heart, pierce her heart with an arrow of Thy love, so that nothing earthly may remain therein, and that it may be entirely filled with the strength of Thy Divinity". Being moved, as I believe, by these prayers, on the Sunday when they sang the Mass Gaudete in Domino, Thy infinite liberality having permitted me, by an excess of mercy, to approach the Communion of Thy adorable Body and Blood, Thou didst infuse a desire in me when I approached It, which broke forth in these words: "Lord, I am not worthy to receive the least of Thy gifts: but I beseech Thee, by the merits and prayers of all here present, to pierce my heart with the arrow of Thy love." I soon perceived that my words had reached Thy Divine Heart, both by an interior effusion of grace, and by a remarkable prodigy which Thou didst show me in the image of Thy crucifixion.
After I had received the Sacrament of life, and had retired to the place where I pray, it seemed to me that I saw a ray of light like an arrow coming forth from the Wound of the right side of the crucifix, which was in an elevated place, and it continued, as it were, to advance and retire for some time, sweetly attracting my cold affections. But my desire was not entirely satisfied with these things until the following Wednesday, when after the Mass, the faithful meditated on Thy adorable Incarnation and Annunciation, in which I joined, however imperfectly. And, behold, Thou camest suddenly before me, and didst imprint a wound in my heart, saying these words: May the full tide of your affections flow hither, so that all your pleasure, your hope, your joy, your grief, your fear, and every other feeling may be sustained by My love! And I immediately remembered that I had heard a wound should be bathed, anointed and bandaged. But Thou didst not teach me then in what manner I should perform these things, for Thou didst defer it to discover it to me more clearly in the end by means of another person, who had accustomed the ears of her soul to discern far more exactly and delicately than I do the sweet mummers of Thy love.
She advised me to reflect devoutly upon the love of Thy Heart when hanging on the Cross, and to draw from this fountain the waters of true devotion, to wash away all my offenses; to take from the unction of mercy the oil of gratitude, which the sweetness of this inestimable love has produced as a remedy for all adversities, and to use this efficacious charity and the strength of this consummate love as a ligament of justification to unite all my thoughts, words and works, indissolubly and powerfully to Thee. May all the deprivation of those things which my malice and wickedness has caused be supplied through that love whose plenitude abides in Him Who being seated on Thy right hand, has become "bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh!" As it is by Him, through the operation of the Holy Spirit, that Thou hast placed in me this noble virtue of compassion, humility and reverence, to enable me to speak to Thee, it is also by Him that I present to Thee my complaint of the miseries I endure, which are so great in number, and which have caused me to offend Thy Divine goodness in so many ways by my thoughts, words and actions, but principally by the bad use which I have made of the aforesaid graces, by my unfaithfulness, my negligence and my irreverence. For if Thou hast given to one so unworthy even a thread of flax as a remembrance of Thee, I should have been bound to respect it more than I have done all these favors.
Thou knowest, O my God, from Whom nothing is hidden, that the reason why I have written these things, so much against my inclination, is that I have profited so little by Thy liberality, that I cannot believe they were made known to me for myself alone, since Thine eternal wisdom cannot be deceived. Grant, then, O Giver of gifts, Who hast so freely and unreservedly bestowed them on me, that whoever reads these things may be touched with tenderness and compassion for Thee: and knowing that the zeal which Thou hast for the salvation of souls has induced Thee to leave such royal gems so long in my defiled heart, they may praise, adore and extol Thy "Praise and honor, glory and benediction be to Thee, O God the Father from whom all things proceed," thus to supply for my deficiencies.
Chapter 6
O unattainable height of surpassing excellence! O profound abyss of inscrutable wisdom! O immense extent of most desirable charity! How powerfully and exuberantly are the most delicious torrents of Thy most sweet Divinity pouring themselves forth on me, vile worm that I am, crawling in my negligences and sins, since it is permitted to me, even while wandering in exile, to speak, according to my poor capacity, of the ravishing sweetness and inconceivable delights by means of which those who unite themselves to God become one spirit with Him; which blessedness is poured forth on me with such abundance, who am but a little dust. Since after having permitted me to drink of this precious beverage. I am still privileged with the remembrance of it, I will use such words as I can to describe it.
It was on that most sacred night in which the sweet dew of Divine grace fell on all the world, and the heavens dropped sweetness, that my soul, exposed like a mystic fleece in the court of the monastery, having received in meditation this celestial rain, was prepared to assist at this Divine Birth, in which a Virgin brought forth a Son, true God and Man, even as a star produces its ray. In this night, I say, my soul beheld before it suddenly a delicate Child, but just born, in whom were concealed the greatest gifts of perfection. I imagined that I received this precious deposit in my bosom with the tenderest affection. As I possessed it within me, it seemed to me that all at once I was changed into the color of this Divine Infant, if we may be permitted to call "color" that which cannot be compared to anything visible.
Then I understood the meaning contained in those sweet and ineffable words: "God will (erit) be all in all" (1Cor. 15:28); and my soul, which was enriched by the presence of my Beloved, soon knew, by its transports of joy, that it possessed the presence of its Spouse. Then it received these words with exceeding avidity, which were presented as a delicious beverage to satisfy the ardor of its thirst: As I am the figure of the substance of God, My Father, in His Divinity, so also you shall be the figure of My substance in My Humanity, receiving into your defiled soul the infusions of My Divinity, as the air receives the brightness of the solar rays, that these rays may penetrate you so intimately as to prepare you for the closest union with Me.
O most noble balsam of the Divinity, pouring Thyself out like an ocean of charity, shooting forth and budding eternally, diffusing Thyself until the end of time! O invincible strength of the Hand of the most High, which causes so frail a vessel, and one which should be cast away in contempt, to receive within it so precious a liquor! O evident testimony of the exuberance of Divine goodness, not to withdraw from me when I wandered in the devious ways of sin, but rather to unite me to itself as far as my misery would permit!
Chapter 7
The day of the most holy Purification, as I was confined to bed after a severe illness, and as I was troubled in my mind about day break, fearing that my corporal infirmity would deprive me of the Divine visit with which I had been so often consoled, on the same day the august mediatrix, the Mother of God, the true Mediator, consoled me by these words: As you never remember to have endured more severe corporal sufferings than those caused by your illness, know also that you have never received from my Son more noble gifts than those which will now be given to you, and for which your sufferings have prepared you.
This consoled me exceedingly; and having received the Food which gives life, immediately after the Procession, I thought only of God and myself; and I beheld my soul, under the similitude of wax softened by the fire, impressed like a seal upon the bosom of the Lord; and immediately I beheld it surrounding and partly drawn into this treasure house, where the ever peaceful Trinity abides corporally in the plenitude of the Divinity, and resplendent with its glorious impression.
O ardent fire of my God, which contains, produces and imprints those living ardors which attract the humid waters of my soul and dry up the torrents of earthly delights, and afterwards soften my hard self- opinionatedness which time has hardened so exceedingly! O consuming fire, which even amid ardent flames imparts sweetness and peace to the soul! In Thee, and in none other, do we receive this grace of being reformed to the image and likeness in which we were created. O burning furnace, in which we enjoy the true vision of peace, which tries and purifies the gold of the elect, and leads the soul to seek eagerly for its highest good, even Thyself, in Thy eternal truth.
Chapter 8
On the following Sunday, at the Mass Esto mihi, Thou didst enkindle my spirit, and increase my desires to receive yet more noble gifts which Thou wert about to bestow on me; especially by these two of the first response: "Benedicens benedicam tibi" - With blessings I will bless thee, and the versicle of the ninth response: "Tibi enim et semini tuo dabo universas regiones has" - To thee and to thy seed I will give all these countries (Gen 26:3). For then Thou did show me what were these countries which Thy boundless liberality had promised, O blessed country, where blessings flow upon blessings! O field of delights, whose least grain is capable of satisfying the hunger which any of the elect may have for those things which the human heart considers desirable, delightful, amiable, sweet and joyful. While I attended to these things as well as I could, though not as well as I ought, the sweetness and charity of my Savior and my God was made known to me, not as an act of justice, for I was far from meriting such favors, but as an act of His ineffable mercy, fortifying me by an adoptive charity, and rendering my extreme vileness - all unworthy, miserable and detestable as it is - capable of receiving a more super celestial and super inestimable union with Him. But, my God, how have I merited this inestimable gift from Thy justice? Surely it proceeds from this love, which observes no rule - this ardent love, which is not limited by reason, and which has inebriated Thee, my sweetest Lord, if I may dare say so - causing Thee, as if devoid of wisdom, to unite what is so dissimilar; or, to speak more correctly, the tenderness of Thine essential goodness, and Thy nature, being inwardly moved by Thy sweetest charity (which causes Thee not only to love, but to be all love, and the torrent of which Thou hast turned toward the salvation of the human race), having inclined Thee to draw from the depths of misery the least of Thy creatures, deficient in all good, contemptible on account of her life and conduct, to elevate her to a share in Thy kingdom, or rather in Thy Divine Majesty, in order by this to confirm the confidence of all who are in the Church - so that I have hope for all Christians, and can believe that there will not be even one who will abuse the gifts of God as I have done, or give such scandal to their neighbor.
But since we may understand the invisible things of God, in some measure, by those which are visible - as I have before remarked - I saw (to express as far as I can that which is inexpressible) that the part of His blessed Heart where the Lord received my soul on the Feast of the Purification, under the form of wax softened by the fire, was, as it were, dropping a sweat, which came forth with violence, even as if the substance of the wax was melted by the excessive heat hidden in the depth of this Heart. This sacred reservoir attracted these drops to itself with surprising force, powerfully and inexpressibly, and even so inconceivable, that one saw evidently that love, which could not be hindered from communicating itself, had an absolute power in this place, where it discovered secrets which were so great, so hidden and so impenetrable.
O eternal solstice! Secure mansions, containing all that is desirable! Paradise of unchanging delights, continual fountain of inestimable pleasures, wherein there is eternal spring-time, soothing by its sweet song, or rather by its delicious and intellectual melodies, rejoicing by the odor of its vivifying perfumes, inebriating by the soothing sweetness of its mystic liquors, and transforming by its sweet caresses!,
O thrice blessed, thrice happy, and, if I may so speak a hundred times holy, is he who allows himself to be guided by this grace, and who, having clean hands, and a pure heart, and spotless lips, merits to be thus united to and incorporated with his God! What does he not see and hear and feel and taste? How can my stammering tongue speak of it?
For although the Divine Mercy has made me experience this by a particular favor, nevertheless the obstinacy of my sins, and the thick covering of negligence with which I am encompassed, hinders me from fully understanding it. For if all the science of men and Angels were united together, it would not be capable of making us understand, even in the least degree, the sublime majesty of so high a subject.
Chapter 9
Soon after, during the fast when I was confined to bed for the second time by a severe sickness, and the other sisters were occupied elsewhere, so that I was left alone one morning, the Lord, who never abandons those who are deprived of human consolation, came to verify these words of the prophets: "I am with him in tribulation." (Ps. 90:15). He turned His right Side towards me, and there came forth from His blessed and inmost Heart a pure and solid stream, like crystal, and on His Breast there was a precious ornament, like a necklace, which seemed to alternate between gold and rose color. Then Our Lord said to me: This sickness which you suffer will sanctify your soul, so that each time you go forth from Me, like the stream which I have shown you, for the good of your neighbor, either in thought, word, or act, even then, as the purity of the crystal renders the color of the gold and the rose more brilliant, so the cooperation of the precious gold of My Divinity, and the rose of the perfect patience of My Humanity, will render your works always agreeable to me by the purity of your intention.
O greatness of this little bit of dust, which this celestial Lover has taken from the mire to encase His jewels! O excellence of this little flower, which the ray of the true Sun Himself has drawn from the marsh, to make it beautiful as Himself! O happiness of this blessed and favored soul, which the Lord of glory has esteemed so highly, that though He can create whatever He pleases, He attracts it so sweetly and beautifies it by uniting it to Himself! This soul, I say, though it is adorned with His image and likeness, is, nevertheless, as far from Him as the creature from the Creator. Therefore is he blessed a thousand times who has received the grace to persevere in this state, to which, alas, I fear I shall never attain, even for a single moment.
O gift surpassing all gifts, to be satisfied with the sweetness of the Divinity, and to be superabundantly inebriated with Divine charity in the cellar where it is reserved, so that our feet are no longer free to roam to any place where its Divine fragrance is not perceived: unless, indeed, they are led forth by charity, when they pour out on others the wealth of the Divine faithfulness, and enable them to partake if their surpassing sweetness.
I hope, my Lord and my God, that Thou, in Thy most benign love, wilt grant me this grace, which by Thine almighty power Thou canst impart to all Thine elect. It is true Thine inscrutable wisdom alone knows how Thou canst do this, notwithstanding my unworthiness. But I honor and I glorify Thy wise and merciful almightiness; I glorify and magnify Thy almighty and all - merciful wisdom; I praise and adore Thy wise and omnipotent mercy; I bless and thank Thy omnipotent and wise kindness, O my God, because Thou hast bestowed on me graces so far beyond my deserts, notwithstanding all the obstacles I opposed to Thy bounty.
Chapter 10
I considered it so unsuitable for me to publish these writings, that my conscience would not consent to do so; therefore I deferred doing it until the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. On that day, having determined before Mass to apply myself to other occupations, the Lord conquered the repugnance of my reason by these words: Be assured that you will not be released from the prison of the flesh until you have paid this debt which still binds you. And as I reflected that I had already employed the gifts of God for the advancement of my neighbor - if not by my writing, at least by my words - He brought forward these words which I had heard used at the preceding Matins: If the Lord had willed to teach His doctrine only to those who were present, He would have taught by word only, not by writing. But now they are written for the salvation of many. He added further: I desire your writings to be an indisputable evidence of My Divine goodness in these latter times, in which I purpose to do good to many.
These words having depressed me, I began to consider within myself how difficult and even impossible it would be to find thoughts and words capable of explaining these things to the human intellect without scandal. But the Lord delivered me from this pusillanimity by pouring out on my soul an abundant rain, the impetuous fall of which weighed me down like a young and tender plant - vile creature that I am! - instead of watering me gently, so as to make me increase in perfection; and I could find no profit from it, except from some weighty words, the sense of which I was unable perfectly to penetrate. Therefore, finding myself still more depressed, I inquired what would be the advantage of these writings, and Thy goodness, my God, solaced my trouble with Thy usual sweetness, refreshing my soul by this reply: Since this deluge appears useless to you, behold, I will now approach you to My Divine Heart, that your words may be gentle and sweet, according to the capabilities of your mind. Which promise, my Lord and my God, Thou didst most faithfully fulfill. And for four days, at a convenient hour each morning, Thou didst suggest with so much clearness and sweetness what I composed, that I have been able to write it without difficulty and without reflection, even as if I had learned it by heart long before - with this limitation, that when I had written a sufficient quantity each day, it has not been possible for me, although I applied my whole mind to it, to find a single word to express the things which on the following day I could write freely: thus instructing and refraining my impetuosity as the Scripture teaches: "Let none so apply himself to action as to omit contemplation." Thus art Thou jealous for my welfare, and whilst Thou givest me leisure to enjoy the embraces of Rachel, Thou dost not permit me to be deprived of the glorious fruitfulness of Lia. May Thy wise love deign to accomplish in me these two things!
Chapter 11
Since, Lord, Thou hast so often diversified the salutary taste of Thy presence, and that Thou hast prevented my baseness so assiduously with the sweetness of Thy benedictions, especially when I was admitted to the participation of Thy adorable Body and Blood - since I can make no return to Thee for this, even by a single thanksgiving for a thousand favors - I remit the thanksgivings which I owe to that eternal, infinite and incommunicable gratitude by which, O ever - peaceful and resplendent Trinity, Thou dost fully satisfy all our debts of Thyself, by Thyself and in Thyself. And I, who am but dust, offer my thanksgivings to Thee, through Him who stands by Thee, clothed with my substance, through the operation of the Holy Spirit, for all the benefits which I have received from Thee, principally for having instructed my ignorance by so evident a sign, that Thou hast shown me clearly how I corrupt the purity of Thy gifts.
On one occasion, when I assisted at a Mass at which I was to communicate, I perceived that Thou wert present, by an admirable condescension, and that Thou didst use this similitude to instruct me, by appearing as if parched with thirst, and desiring that I should give Thee to drink; and while I was troubled thereat, and could not even force a tear from my eyes, I beheld Thee presenting me with a golden cup with Thine own Hand. When I took it, my heart immediately melted into a torrent of fervent tears. Then I saw a certain despicable creature at my right hand, who was secretly putting something bitter and venomous into it, and inciting me to put it in this cup. But as this was followed by an instant motion of vainglory, I easily understood that it was a stratagem of that ancient enemy, who turns against us all his rage when he sees us enriched with Thy gifts.
But thanks be to Thy faithfulness, my God, thanks to Thy protection, Who art one and true God, Trinity in Unity, Unity in Trinity, Who permittest not that we should be tempted beyond our strength, although Thou sometimes permittest us to be tempted for our advancement in virtue; and, when Thou seest that we confide in Thee, Thou undertakest our cause, and, with boundless generosity, dost win the victory for us, and then allow us the merit of it, if only we will to do right - and Thou dost procure us this advantage to increase our merit, that, as Thou dost not permit our enemy to interfere with our free will so neither dost Thou interfere with it Thyself in any way.
Thou didst teach me also, on another occasion, that to yield easily to the enemy makes him insolent in attacking us again on the same subject; therefore, Thy justice requires that Thou shouldst sometimes conceal the greatness of Thy mercy in pardoning our negligence, because we resist evil more certainly, more usefully, more efficaciously, and more happily, when we resist it with all our might.
Chapter 12
I render Thee thanks also for another revelation, which was no less advantageous and acceptable to me, by which I was shown with what benign patience Thou dost bear our defects, that, by correcting us thus, Thou mightest insure our happiness. For one evening, having allowed myself to give way to anger, and on the following morning, before break of day, finding myself disposed to pray, Thou didst present Thyself to me under so strange a form, that it seemed to me on beholding Thee that Thou wert not only deprived of all kind of good, but even of strength. Then, my conscience being touched for my past fault, I began to reflect with grief how improper a thing it had been for me to trouble the Supreme Author of peace and purity by my ill- regulated passion. I thought it would have been better that Thou shouldst have been absent from me when I failed to repel Thine enemy, while he solicited me to do that which was so contrary to Thy Will.
Thou didst apply this to me: Even as a poor invalid who has been brought out to enjoy the sunshine by the assistance of others, with much difficulty, when he sees a storm coming on has no other consolation than the hope of soon seeing fine weather again - thus, under the influence of your love, I prefer dwelling with you in all the temptests of vice, hoping to behold the calm if your amendment, and to see you enter the port of humility.
Since my tongue is too feeble to explain the abundance of the graces which thou didst pour forth on me during the three entire days in which this apparition lasted, permit me, O my God, that my heart may supply for its weakness, and teach me how to render a thanksgiving of gratitude for the depths of the humility to which Thy love then abased itself for this charity, so amazing and so tender, which Thou hast for us.
Chapter 13
I confess also before Thy goodness, God of mercy, that Thou didst use another means to animate my languor; and though at first Thou didst commence Thy work by the intervention of a third person, Thou didst will nevertheless to consummate it Thyself with mercy and condescension. This person proposed to my consideration the Gospel which relates that after Thy Birth Thou wert found b shepherds; she added that Thou hadst made known to her that if I would truly find Thee, I must watch over my senses, as the shepherds over their flocks. I had some difficulty in believing this, and there seemed to me but little reason in it, knowing that Thou hadst given other capabilities to my soul than those serving Thee as a hired shepherd would his master; so that from morning until evening, I was full of discouragement. After Compline, as I was in the place where I pray, Thou didst solace my grief by this comparison: If a bride prepare food sometimes for her bridegroom's falcons, she will not on this account be deprived of his caresses, so if I occupied myself for love of Thee in watching over my affections and senses, I should not on this account be deprived of the sweetness of Thy graces.
Thou didst give me for this purpose the spirit of fear, under the figure of a green rod, in order that, remaining always with Thee, and never leaving the shelter of Thine embraces even for a single moment, I might without danger extend my care to all the windings and ladyrinths in which human affection so often loses itself. Thou didst add that when anything presented itself to my mind which sought to turn my thoughts to the right, as to joy or hope; to the left, as to fear, grief, or anger - that I should threaten them with the rod of fear, and that afterwards, by the restraining of my senses, I should immolate this affection like a newborn lamb, by the fire of my heart, and offer it to Thee as a feast.
But, alas, how many times when the opportunity has come have I not snatched, as if from Thy very lips, by a malicious lightness, or by a passionate word or action, that which I had given Thee, and presented it to Thine enemy! And even then Thou hast looked on me with tenderness and sweetness, as if Thou hadst not perceived my infidelity, and thereby Thou hast often excited transports of sweetness in my soul, which have served to make me correct and watch over myself far more than the threats and fear of Thine anger.
Chapter 14
The Sunday before Lent, while they chanted the Esto mihi, Thou didst make me understand by the words of this Introit, O only Object of my love, that, being wearied by the persecutions and outrages which so many persons inflict on Thee, Thou didst ask for my heart, that Thou mightest repose therein. Therefore each time that I entered during these three days, Thou didst appear to me as if lying down there like a person exhausted by extreme languor, and I could find no greater solace of Thy woe during this period than to pray, keep silence, and perform other exercises of mortification in Thine honor for the conversion of worldly persons.
Thy grace makes me know further, by frequent revelations, that the soul, dwelling in the body of frail humanity, is darkened in the same manner as a person who stands in a narrow space, and is surrounded on all sides by a vapor exhaling from a cooking vessel. And when the body is afflicted by any evil, the part which suffers is to the soul as a beam from the sun which enlightens the air, and from which it receives marvelous clearness; therefore, the heavier one's sufferings are, the purer is the light the soul receives. But afflictions and trials of the heart in humility, patience and other virtues impart the greatest luster to the soul, as they touch it more keenly, efficaciously and intimately; works of charity, above all, give it an admirable serenity and brightness.
Thanks be to Thee, O Lover of men, that Thou hast sometimes led me by this means to patience! But alas! - and a thousand times, alas! - how seldom have I listened to Thy counsels, or rather, how seldom have I done what I ought to have done! O Lord, Thou knowest the grief, the shame and the dejection of my soul for this; Thou knowest the desire of my heart to apply to Thee for my deficiencies.
On another occasion, when I was about to communicate at Mass, being filled abundantly with Thy Spirit, and seeking within myself what I could do in return for so great a favor, Thou didst propose to me, as a Master full of wisdom, these words of the Apostle: "For I wished myself to be an anathema from Christ, for my brethren...." (Rom, 9:3). And although Thou hadst taught me before that the soul had its abode in the heart, Thou didst make me know also that it resided in the brain; and this truth, of which I had been ignorant until then, was confirmed to me afterwards by a testimony of Scripture. Thou didst teach me also, that the great perfection of a soul consists in relinquishing the pleasure which it finds in the affections, in order to occupy itself, for the love of Thee, in watching over its exterior senses, and in laboring in works of charity for the salvation of its neighbor.
Chapter 15
The day of Thine adorable Nativity, I took Thee from the crib, wrapped in swathing clothes, like a little infant newly born and placed Thee in my heart, that I might make a bouquet of myrrh of all Thy infant sufferings and incommodities, to place it in my breast, that I might drink therefrom a libation of Divine sweetness. but as I considered this the greatest favor Thou couldst bestow on me, Thou, Who when we least expect it, accompaniest Thy first graces by others yet more precious, didst will to diversity the abundance of Thy graces in this manner.
For on the same day, the following year, as the Mass Dominus dixit was said, I received Thee, coming forth from the virginal womb of Thy Mother as a feeble and delicate Infant, and carried Thee for some time in my arms. It seemed to me that the compassion which I had shown before the Feast, by some special prayers for a person in affliction, had obtained this favor for me; but, alas, after having obtained it, I did not receive it with the devotion I ought! I know not if it were an act of Thy justice, or a chastisement of my negligence; I hope, never the less that Thy justice, by the intermission of Thy mercy has so ordered it, to make me known more clearly the greatness of my unworthiness, and to make me less negligent in putting away idle thoughts. But it is for Thee, O Lord, to say to which of these causes I ought to refer this effect.
Nevertheless, as I gathered up all my strength to make a last effort to gain Thee by my loving caresses, I perceived that all this was of no avail, until I commenced praying for sinners, for the souls in Purgatory, or for those who were in any affliction, when I knew that I was heard; but still more one evening, when I formed the resolution of commencing the prayers which I say for the deceased offering them for those most beloved by Thee, with the Collect, Omnipotens, sempiterne Deus, cui nunquam sine spe, instead of commencing, as I had been accustomed to do, by praying for those related to me, with the Collect, Deus, qui nos patrem et matrem, and it seemed to me that this change was very pleasing to Thee.
I believed also that it pleased Thee much, when I chanted as loud as I could, and at each note fixed my intention on Thee, as one fixes his eye on his book, who has not yet learned the chant perfectly. Still I know that I have been negligent in this and in other things which concerns Thy glory; and I confess it to Thee, the Father of mercy, asking pardon through the bitter Passion of Thy blameless Son Jesus Christ, in whom Thou didst declare Thyself well pleased, saying: "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased" (Matt. 17:5); through Him I ask the grace of amendment and atonement for my negligences.
Chapter 16
On the Feast of the Purification, at the Procession, when Thou, our Salvation and Redemption, wert borne as an offering to the Temple, at the Antiphon, Cum inducerent, Thy Virgin Mother told me to give her, her Child, the blessed Fruit of her womb; and she demanded Thee again from me with a severe countenance, as if she was not pleased with my care of Thee, Who art the honor and joy of her spotless virginity.
Then, remembering the grace which she had received from Thee of being the hope of the despairing and the reconciler of sinners, I exclaimed: "O Mother of mercy, was not the Fount of forgiveness given to thee as thy Son, that thou mightest obtain all grace for us from Him, and that the multitude of our sins and our deficiencies might be covered by thy abundant charity?" The She looked on me more with a serene and loving countenance so that I might know that if my fault obliged her to appear severe to me, she was, nevertheless, full of the most consummate tenderness, and penetrated to her inmost heart with the most sweet and Divine charity. I soon beheld the tokens of it, since a few words removed her anger, and her sweetness shone forth resplendently. May this abundant tenderness of Thy Mother intercede with Thee, and obtain pardon for my faults!
And I know, by a testimony clearer than light itself, that no obstacle could have arrested the torrent of Thy sweetness, when, on the Feast of Thy Nativity, the preceding year. Thou didst grant me a yet greater favor, though in a similar manner, s if I had merited it by the fervor of my zeal the year before, when, far from meriting a new grace, I was justly worthy of chastisment for having lost the first.
For when these words of the Gospel were read, "Peperit filium suum primogenitum, Thy spotless Mother presented Thee to me with her pure hands. And Thou, O amiable Infant, didst endeavor to embrace me with all Thy might; I, though utterly unworthy, received Thee, and Thou didst put Thy little arms around my neck, exhaling on me from Thy mouth a breath so full of sweetness, that I was nourished and abundantly satisfied therewith. For this, O Lord my God, may my soul and all that is within me adore and bless Thy Holy Name! And when Thy Blessed Mother sought to wrap Thee in Thy swathing clothes, I desired to be wrapped up in them also, for fear of losing the company of One whose smiles and favors exceed the sweetness of honey and the honeycomb. Thou wert then clothed in the fairest robe of innocence, and cinctured with the golden cincture of love; and I felt that if I wished to be so clothed and so cintured, I should seek to have more purity of heart, and to abound more in love.
Chapter 17
I give Thee thanks my Creator of the firmament, Fashioner of its celestial lights and of the flowers of spring, because, although Thou needest now my goods, Thou, for my instruction, didst order me to clothe Thee with the garments of an infant on the day of Thy Purification, before Thou wert carried into the Temple. And this is the manner in which Thou dost desire me to draw from the hidden treasures of Thy love - namely to extol with all my powers the innocence of Thy Holy Humanity, but with such faithfulness and devotion, that if I could receive in my own person all the glory due to Thy blessed innocence, I would nevertheless, freely renounce it, inorder to enhance thereby the praise of Thy innocence. It seemed to me that this pure intention clothed Thee with a white robe, such as infants wear; Thou whose omnipotence "calleth those things that are not as those that are". (Rom. 4:17).
So, also, when I endeavored to penetrate devoutly into the abyss of Thy humility, I saw thee clothed in a green tunic, as a sign that Thy grace is ever flourishing, and that it never withers in the valley of humility. Then contemplating the fire of love, which has made Thee produce all which Thou hast produced, I beheld Thee clothed in purple, to indicate that charity is truly a royal mantle, without which none can enter into the Kingdom of Heaven.
As I admire the same virtues in Thy glorious Mother, she appeared to me clothed in the same manner, and as this Blessed Virgin flourishes like a rose without thorns, and a lily without spot, being adorned with the flowers of all virtues, I besought this most benign Mother to intercede continually with Thee for our necessities.
Chapter 18
One day, after I had washed my hands, and was standing round the table with the community, perplexed in mind, considering the brightness of the sun, which was in full strength, I said within myself: "If the Lord, Who has created the sun, and Whose beauty is said to be the admiration of the sun and moon - if He, who is a consuming fire, is as truly in me as He shows Himself frequently before me, how is it possible that my heart continues like ice, and that I lead so evil a life?"
Then Thou, whose words, though always sweet, were now much sweeter, and therefore the more necessary for my heart in its state of agitation - Thou, I say, didst reply thus to me: In what should My omnipotence be extolled, if I could not contain Myself within Myself whatever I am, so that I am only felt or seen as is most suitable for the time, place and persons? For since the creation of Heaven and earth I have worked for the redemption of all, more by the wisdom of My benignity than by the power of My Majesty. And this benignity of wisdom shines most in My tolerance towards the imperfect, leading them, even by their own free will, into the way of perfection. Seeing also, on a certain feast day, that many who had recommended themselves to my prayers were going to Communion, and that I was deprived of It by sickness - or rather, prevented on account of my unworthiness - and reflecting in my mind on the numerous benefits I had received from God, I began to fear the wind of vainglory, which might dry up the waters of Divine grace; and I desired to have some reflection in my mind that might prevent its recurrence. Then Thy paternal goodness instructed me thus; that I should consider Thy affection toward me under the similitude of a father of a family, who being delighted at seeing so many beautiful children receiving admiration from his neighbors and servants, had, amongst others, a little one who was not so beautiful as his companions, whom he, nevertheless, often took in his bosom, moved by paternal tenderness, and consoled him by gentle words and kind gifts; and Thou didst add, that if I had this humble esteem of myself, so as to believe myself the most imperfect of all, the torrents of Thy celestial sweetness would never cease to flow in my soul.
I give thanks to Thee, most loving God, Lover of men by the merit of the reciprocal gratitude of the adorable Trinity, for this and for many other salutary instructions by which Thou hast instructed my ignorance so many times as the best of masters - I offer my sighs to Thee through the bitter Passion of Jesus Christ Thy Son; I offer to Thee His pains and tears and dolors, in expiation of all the negligences by which I have so often stifled the Spirit of God in my heart. I beseech Thee, in union with the efficacious prayer of this Thy beloved Son, and by the grace of the Holy Ghost, to amend my life, and to supply for my deficiencies. This I beseech Thee to grant by that love which arrested Thine anger when Thy only Son, the object of Thy complacence, was reputed a criminal.
Chapter 19
I give thanks to Thy loving mercy and to Thy merciful love, most loving Lord, for the revelations by which Thy goodness satisfied my weak and wavering soul when I so ardently desired to be released from the chains of the flesh: not that I might suffer less, but that I might release Thy goodness from the debt which Thy exceeding love has undertaken for my salvation, although Thy Divine omnipotence and eternal wisdom were not obliged to grant me this favor - but Thou didst bestow it on my unworthiness and ingratitude of Thy superabounding liberality.
When, therefore, I desired to be dissolved, Thou, my God, Who art the honor and glory of Heaven, didst appear to me, descending from the royal throne of Thy majesty, and approaching to sinners by a most obliging and favorable condescension; and then certain streams of precious liquor seemed to flow through Heaven, before which all Saints prostrated themselves in thanksgiving; and having satisfied their thirst with joy in this torrent of delights, broke forth in canticles of praise for all Thy mercy towards sinners. Whilst these things happened I heard these words: Consider how agreeable this concert of praise is, not only to My ears, but even to My most loving Heart; and beware for the future how you desire so importunately to be separated from the body, merely for the sake of being delivered from the flesh, in which I pour so forth so freely the gifts of My grace; for the more unworthy they are to whom I condescend, the more I merit to be glorified for it by all creatures.
As thou didst give this consolation at the moment when I approached Thy life giving Sacrament, as soon as I had recollected myself and formed my intention, as I was bound to do, Thou didst make known to me further in what manner, and with what intention, each one should approach to unite themselves to Thy sacred Body and Blood; so that, even if this Sacrament served for our condemnation, were it possible, the love and of Thy glory would cause us to think nothing of this, provided that thereby Thy mercy shone forth still more in not refusing to give Thyself to those who are so utterly unworthy. Then I inquired concerning those who, from a consciousness of their unworthiness, abstain from Communion, fearing to profane by a presumptuous irreverence the sanctity of this Sacrament; and I received this blessed answer from Thee: He who communicates from a pure desire of My glory, as I have said, can never communicate with irreverence. For which may eternal praise and glory be given to Thee for endless ages!
Chapter 20
May my heart and my soul, with all the substance of my flesh, all my senses, and all the powers of my body and my mind, with all creatures, praise Thee and give Thee thanks, O sweetest Lord, faithful Lover of mankind, for Thy signal mercy, which has not only dissimulated the utterly unworthy preparation with which I have not feared to approached the super celestial banquet of Thy most sacred Body and Blood, but has added this gift to me, the most utterly vile and perfectly useless of Thy creatures. First, of having been assured by Thy grace that all who desire to approach this Sacrament, and who are restrained by fear from a timid conscience, who come to me, who am the least of Thy servants, led by humility, to receive this Sacrament with fruit to eternal life. Thou hast also added that Thou wilt not permit anyone whom Thy justice deems unworthy to abase themselves to ask counsel of me, O Supreme Ruler, Who, through Thou dwellest on high, regardest the humble. (CF. Ps. 112:5).
What prompted Thy mercy, when Thou sawest me approach so often unworthily, to suspend Thy judgment, and not to inflict on me the punishment I deserve? Thou willest to make others worthy by the virtue of humility; and though Thou couldst do so more effectually without my assistance, Thy love, looking upon my misery, made Thee effect this through me, so that thus I may be a sharer in the merits of those who, through my admonitions, enjoy the fruit of salvation.
But, alas this is not the only remedy which my misery requires; nor will one remedy satisfy Thy mercy, O most kind Lord! For (secondly) Thou didst assure my unworthiness that Thou wouldst consider whoever should expose their defects to me, with a contrite and humble heart, guilty or innocent, as I had declared them more or less guilty, and from henceforward Thy grace would so sustain them that They should never again be in such danger from their faults as they had been previously. And thus Thou hast relieved my indigence, which is so great that I have never even for a single day corrected myself as I ought, and yet Thou dost permit me to participate in the victories of others, when Thou, my good God, dost condescend, to give the grace of victory to Thine other more deserving friends through my words.
Thirdly. The abundant liberality of Thy grace has enriched my poverty of merit by this assurance - that whenever I promise a favor to anyone, or the pardon of any fault, through confidence in Thy mercy, Thy benign love will ratify my words and execute my promise as faithfully as if it has been confirmed by an oath of the Eternal Truth. Thou didst add further, that if anyone found that the salutary effects of my promises were deferred, they should continually remind Thee that I had promised this grace from Thee. Thus dost Thou provide for my salvation according to the words of the Gospel: "With what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again" (Matt. 7:2). And as, I alas, continually fall into the greatest faults, Thou desirest by this means to remit the punishment I deserve.
Fourthly. To solace my miseries, Thou hast assured me, amongst other things, that whoever recommend themselves humbly and devoutly to my prayers will certainly obtain all the fruits which they hoped to obtain by the intercession of any other person: in which Thou hast provided for my negligence, which prevents me from satisfying, not only for the prayers which are made gratuitously for the Church, but also for those of obligation; and Thou hast found the means of applying the fruit of them to me, according to the words of David "My prayers shall be turned into my bosom" (Ps 34: 13); making me participate in the merits of Thine elect, who shall ask these graces of Thee through my intermission, although I am utterly unworthy of it, and granting me a share in them to supply for my indigence.
Fifthly. Thou hast further promised my salvation by conferring these special favors on me, that whom ever with a good will, a right intention and a humble confidence, shall come to speak to me upon their spiritual advancement, should never leave me without being edified or receiving spiritual consolation. In this also Thou hast most suitably supplied for my indigence: for alas, I have wasted the talent Thou didst so liberally bestow on me by my useless words, but now I may gain some merit by what I confide to others!
Sixthly. Thy liberality, O Lord, has bestowed on me thus gift, more necessary than all - certify to me that whoever, in their charity, will either pray for me - the vilest of God's creatures - or perform any good works, either for the amendment of my life, or the forgiveness of the sins of my youth, or the correction of my iniquity and malice, shall receive this reward from Thy abundant liberality - namely, that they shall nit die until, by Thy grace, their lives have been pleasing to Thee; and that Thou wilt dwell in their souls by a special friendship and intimacy.
And this Thou hast granted of Thy paternal tenderness, to assist my extreme indigence, as Thou knowest how many great corrections are needed for my innumerable sins and negligences. Thus, as Thy loving mercy will not permit me to perish, and, on the contrary by reason of justice, will not permit me to be saved with all my imperfections, Thou hast provided for me by means of the gains and merits of others.
Thou hast added to all these favors, my kind God, by an abundant liberality - that if anyone, after my death, considering with how much familiarity Thou didst communicate with my unworthiness while in this life, should recommend themselves humbly to my prayers, Thou wouldst hear them as willingly as if they invoked the intercession of any other person, provided that they had the intention of repairing their faults and negligences, and that they humbly and devoutly thanked Thee for five special benefits which Thou didst grant me.
First. For the love by which Thou didst freely choose me from all eternity, and which I declare to be the greatest of all the benefits which Thou hast bestowed on me: for as Thou wert not ignorant of, or rather didst foresee, the corrupt life which I should lead, the excess of my ingratitude, and how I should abuse Thy gifts, so that I deserve to have been born a pagan, and not an enlightened human being - Thy mercy, which infinitely exceeds our crimes, has chosen me, in preference to many other Christians, to bear the holy character of a religious.
Secondly. Because Thou hast drawn me blessedly to Thee; and I acknowledged it to be an effect of the clemency and charity which is natural to Thee, Who hast won, by the attractions of Thy caresses, this rebellious and stubborn heart, which deserves to be loaded with fetters and chains; and it has seemed as if Thou hadst found in me the faithful companion of Thy love, and that Thy greatest pleasure was to be united to me.
Thirdly. Because Thou hast united me so intimately to Thee; and I declare, as I am bound, that I am indebted for this only to Thy signal liberality, as if the number of the just was not great enough to receive the immense abundance of Thy mercies, not that I had better dispositions than others, but, on the contrary, that Thy charity might be the more signalized in me thereby.
Fourthly. That Thou hast taken pleasure and delight in dwelling in my soul; and this, if I may so speak, proceeds from the ardor of Thy love, which has deigned to testify, even by words, that it is the joy of Thy all - powerful wisdom to stop to one so dissimilar to Thee, and so utterly ungrateful.
Fifthly. That it has pleased Thee to accomplish Thy work happily in me; and, it is a favor which I have hoped with humble confidence from the tenderness of Thy most benign charity, and for which I adore Thee with gratitude, declaring, O sovereign, true, and only treasure of my soul, that I have in no way contributed to it by my merits, but that it is a true gift of Thy liberality.
All these benefits coming from Thine immense charity, and being so far above my nothingness, I am unable to give thanks for them worthily; but Thou has further assisted my misery, in exciting others, by the most condescending promises, to render thanksgivings to Thee, the merit of which may supply my deficiencies. For which may all creatures in Heaven, on earth and under the earth, glorify Thee and thank Thee continually!
Chapter 21
Among other things, it has pleased Thee, my Lord in the abundance of Thine inestimable charity, to ratify and confirm these favors. On a certain day, as I meditated on and compared Thy mercy and my malice, I was filled with extreme joy, even to such presumption as to complain that Thou hadst not assured me of these favors by solemn contrast, when Thy sweet and affable charity agreed to satisfy my objections saying to me Do not complain of this; approach and receive the confirmation of My promises. And immediately Thou didst open to me, with both hands, the ark of Thy Divine love and infallible truth, namely, Thy Defied Heart; and Thou didst command me to extend my hand - I, perverse creature as I am, seeking like a Jew for a sign; and then, drawing back Thy Sacred Heart, with my hand enclosed therein, Thou saidst: Behold, I promise to preserve inviolate the gifts which I have bestowed on thee; however, if I suspend their effects for a time, by way of dispensation, I oblige Myself, by the omnipotence, wisdom and love of the Trinity, in which I live and reign true God through all ages, to recompense thee afterwards threefold.
After these most sweet words, as I withdrew my hand, I perceived thereon seven golden circlets in the form of rings, one on each finger; which indicated that the seven privileges were confirmed to me, as I had asked. Then Thy loving mercy added these words: Each time that you acknowledge your unworthiness of My gifts, and confide fully in my mercy, each time you acquit yourself of the debts you owe Me for these benefits.
O, how ingenious is Thy Paternity in providing for Thy children, notwithstanding their vile degeneracy, and the manner in which they have squandered Thy substance, falling from innocence, and depriving Thee of Thy rightful worship! Yet hast Thou deigned to accept as an offering the reflection I make on my miseries. Do Thou, the Giver of gifts, the Source of all good, without whom nothing is good and nothing is holy - do Thou, for Thy glory and the salvation of my soul, grant me grace to know my unworthiness of all Thy gifts, whether great or little, whether exterior of interior, and in all things to have the most perfect confidence in Thy mercy.
Chapter 22
I should be unjust in recalling the gratuitous gifts which I have received from Thy charitable clemency, if I ungratefully passed over what was granted to my unworthiness, by Thy most loving clemency, during a certain Lent. For on the second Sunday, as they sang at Mass before the procession, the response which commences Vidi Dominum facie ad faciem, a marvelous and inestimable coruscation illuminated my soul with the light of Divine revelation, and it appeared to me that my face was pressed to another face, as St. Bernard says "Not a form, but forming; not attracting the bodily eye, but rejoicing the heart; giving freely gifts of love, not merely in appearance but in reality."
In this most enchanting vision, Thine eyes, bright as the solar rays, appeared opposite to mine, and Thou alone knowest how Thou, my dearest Lord, affected not only my soul, but even my body and all my strength. Grant, therefore that as long as I live I may prove myself Thy humble and devoted servant.
But even as the rose is more beautiful and gives forth a sweeter fragrance in the spring, when it flourishes, than in the winter, when it is dried up, and, like the remembrance of a joy that is past, rekindles in us some pleasure to think of it, so I desire, by some comparison, to declare what I felt in this most joyful vision, to extol Thy love, so that if those in this most joyful vision, to extol Thy love, so that if those who read this receive similar or even greater favors, they maybe thereby excited to acts of thanksgiving; and I myself, by recalling them frequently will inflame the negligence of my gratitude beneath the rays of this burning glass. When Thou didst display Thy most adorable Face - the source of all blessedness, as I have said, embracing me, unworthy - a light of inestimable sweetness passed through Thy Defiled eyes into mine, passing through my inmost being, operating in all my members with admirable power and sweetness: first it appeared as if the marrow were taken from my bones; then, my flesh and bones appeared annihilated, so much so, that it seemed as if my substance no longer had any consciousness save that Divine Splendor, which shone in so inexplicable and delightful a manner that it was the source of the most inestimable pleasure and joy to my soul.
Oh, what shall I say further of this most sweet vision, if I may so term it? For all the eloquence in the world, if employed daily to persuade me, could never convince me that I should behold Thee more clearly even in glory, O my God, the only salvation of my soul, if Thou hadst not taught me by experience. I will dare say that if anything human or Divine, can exceed the blessedness of Thy embrace in this vision, as I consider, I may truly say that, unless Thy Divine virtue possessed that person, the soul would never remain in the body after a momentary taste of this blessedness.
I render thanks to Thee through the union of mutual love which reigns in the adorable Trinity, for what I have so often experienced, and that Thou hast deigned to favor me with Thy caresses; so that while I sat meditating, or reading the Canonical Hours, or saying the Office of the Dead, Thou hast often, during a single Psalm, embraced my soul many times with a kiss, which far surpasses the most fragrant perfume or the sweetest honey; and I have often observed Thou didst look on me favorably in the condescending caresses Thou didst give to my soul. But though all these things were filled with an extreme sweetness, I declare, nevertheless, that nothing touched me so much as this majestic look of which I have spoken. For this, and for all other favors, whose value Thou alone knowest, mayest Thou rejoice forever in that ineffable sweetness surpassing all comprehension, which the Divine Persons communicate mutually to each other in the bosom of the Divinity!
May a like thanksgiving - or, if possible, one even greater - be rendered to Thee, for an extraordinary favor Thou hast granted me, of which Thou alone knowest, and which is so great, that I can neither fully express it by my feeble words, nor altogether pass it over in silence; and lest I should lose the remembrance of it through my frailty, I write this to recall it to my memory and to excite my gratitude. But, my God, do not allow the meanest of Thy servants to be guiltily of such an excess of madness as voluntarily to forget, even for a single instant, the gratitude which she is bound to have for the visits with which Thou hast honored her of Thy pure and gratuitous liberality, and which she has received for so many years without meriting them. For, although I am the most unworthy of all creatures, I declare, nevertheless, that these visits with which Thou hast favored me far surpasses anything that could be merited during this life. I, therefore, implore Thy sweetest mercy to preserve this gift to me for Thy glory, with the same goodness with which Thou hast so liberally bestowed it, without any merit on my part, so that all creatures may glorify Thee eternally for it, since the more my unworthiness is made known, the more resplendently Thy mercy will shine forth.
Chapter 23
May my soul bless Thee O Lord God, my Creator, from the inmost depths of my heart; and let it declare the mercies with which Thy charity has abounded and encompassed me, O my sweetest Love! I give thanks, as far as I am able, to Thine immense mercy; I praise and glorify the longanimity of Thy patience, which has borne with me, while I passed the years of my infancy, childhood, and youth, even until my twenty- fifth year, in such blindness and folly, that if Thou hadst not preserved me, either by the natural dread which Thou didst give me for evil, and an inclination for good, or by the reproofs of others, and by so many aids, and if Thou hast not saved me by Thy pure mercy, it appears to me that I would have sinned at every opportunity, either by my thoughts, my words or my actions, even as if I had been an infidel in the midst of infidels, and as if I had not know my God, that Thou wert the rewarder of good and the avenger of evil, although Thou didst choose me even from my infancy - that it - from the age of five years - to live in the bosom of holy religion, among Thy most faithful friends.
Although, Thy felicity, O Lord, can neither increase nor diminish, and Thou needest not our goods, nevertheless, neither my negligences nor my faults have diminished Thy praises, if I may so speak - I who am so justly bound to glorify Thee continually, with all creatures, and with all the powers of my soul. Thou alone knowest what I feel concerning this matter, and how profoundly my soul is touched by Thy condescension toward it.
Therefore, O loving Father, I offer Thee, for the remission of my sins, all the sufferings which Thy beloved Son endured, from the hour when He wept on straw in a manger - all the sufferings of His infancy, the privations of His childhood, the griefs of His youth, and the bitter sufferings of His Manhood, until the hour when He bowed His Head upon the Cross, and gave up the ghost with a loud cry. Further more, in satisfaction for all my negligences, I offer to Thee, O loving Father, the life of Thy Divine Son, which was so perfect in every thought, word and action, from the time when He came down from Thy celestial throne to the Virgin's womb, and thence came forth into this world, until the hour when He presented Thy Fatherly regard His victorious and glorified Body.
And because it is just that the heart which loves Thee should compassionate all Thy afflictions, I beseech Thee, for the love of Thy only Son, and by the virtue of the Holy Spirit, that whoever, by my request, or from any other motive, shall desire to supply for my deficiencies, either during my life or after my death, for Thy glory, even by a sigh or by a good work, that Thou wilt receive for them also, and for the remission of their sins and negligences, sufferings of Thy Divine Son; and that I may effectually obtain my request, I conjure thee to perpetuate my desire to all eternity, and even when I shall reign, by Thy grace, with Thee in Heaven.
I adore and bless with thanksgiving, and with all humility, Thy ineffable charity, O Father of mercies, by which, notwithstanding the disorders of my life, Thou hast had thoughts of peace towards me, and not of severity, overwhelming me with the greatness and multitude of Thy benefits, even as if I had led the life of an angel among men. Thou didst commence this work in me during Advent, before I had attained my twenty- fifth year, and consummated it on the Epiphany by a certain fear, by which I was so agitated that I began to have distaste for all the pleasures of youth, so that thus my heart became in some sort prepared to receive Thee.
Having entered on my twenty- sixth year, the second feria before the Feast of the Purification, at the close of day, after Compline, Thou Lord, Who art the true Light shining in darkness - Thou didst put an end to my spiritual obscurity and darkness, and to my youthful vanities. For at this time Thou didst give me evident tokens of Thine amazing charity and of Thine amiable presence; and Thou didst teach me, by a loving reconciliation, to know Thee and to love Thee; and having made me enter into my interior, which was until then unknown to me, Thou didst act toward me in marvelous and hidden ways, so that thou didst seem to take the same delight in dwelling in my soul as a friend in living with his friend or a bridegroom with his bride.
Thou didst visit me, then, at different times, and in different ways, to preserve this commerce of charity; but especially on the Vigil of the Annunciation, and before the Ascension, commencing Thy work on that day in the morning, and completing it after Compline, by granting me that favor which ought to be a subject of admiration and reverence to all creatures - namely, that from that hour until now I never found Thee absent from my heart for a single instant when I entered therein, except once, when Thou wert absent for eleven days.
As I cannot express by my words either the number or the value of gifts Thou hast bestowed on me, permit me, O Giver of gifts, to offer Thee in thanksgiving a sacrifice of joy in a spirit if humility, especially for having prepared a dwelling place in my heart, according to Thy desire and mine; so that I have neither heard nor read anything of the Temple of Solomon or the palace of Assuerus which seemed to me to be preferable to the delights which, thanks to Thy grace, have been placed in me, and which Thou hast permitted my unworthiness to share with Thee, as a queen with the king. But there are two favors which I especially esteem. The first is that Thou hast imprinted on my heart the glorious marks of thy saving Wounds, and that Thou hast truly and deeply pierced this same heart with the wound of Thy love; so that, even if Thou hadst Thou never granted me a greater consolation, either exteriorly or interiorly, Thou hast conferred such happiness on me by these two alone, that even if I lived for a thousand years, I should find each hour more consolation, thanksgiving and instruction than I could possibly contain.
Besides these things, Thou hast also granted me Thy secret friendship, by opening the sacred ark of Thy Divinity - I mean Thy Deified Heart - to me in so many manners, as to be the source of all my happiness, some times imparting it freely, sometimes as a special mark of our mutual friendship, exchanging it for mine. Thou hast also revealed to me hidden mysteries concerning Thy judgments and Thy beatitudes; and Thou hast so often melted my soul by Thy loving caresses, that if I did not know the abyss of Thy overflowing condescension, I should be amazed were I told that even Thy Blessed Mother, who reigns with Thee in Heaven, had been chosen to receive such extraordinary marks of tenderness and affection.
By all these marks of Thy gentle love Thou hast led me to a salutary knowledge of my faults, and at the same time spared my shame with so much charity, that - pardon me for saying it - it would seem as if the loss of half Thy kingdom were less to Thee than to cause me a momentary confusion for my imperfections. Therefore, in order to make them known to me, Thou didst use this wise expedient - discovering to me the defects which displeased Thee in others, and of which, when I entered into myself, I found I was more guilty than they were, although Thou didst not give me the least sign of having perceived them in me.
Further, Thou hast won my soul by Thy faithful promises of benefits at my death and after it; and if I had only obtained this favor from Thee, it would be sufficient to fill my heart with the most lively hope and desire. But the ocean of Thy infinite mercy was not yet exhausted, for Thou hast heard the frequent prayers which I addressed to Thee for sinners for their souls, or for other considerations; and so great have been these favors, that I have not yet found one to whom I could discover them, as I know them myself, on account of the pusillanimity of the human heart, which is slow of belief. To crown all these benefits, Thou hast given me Thy sweetest Mother, the Blessed Virgin, for my advocate, and Thou hast lovingly recommended me to her many times with the same ardor as a faithful bridegroom would recommend his beloved bride to his own mother. Thou hast also often sent me the princes of Thy court to minister to me, not only from the choirs of Angels and Archangels, but even those of higher rank, as Thy kindness, my God, judged it expedient for my advancement in spiritual excerises. But when, for my soul's good, Thou hast deprived me for a time of some of Thy delights, I have yielded to a weak and shameful ingratitude, and have forgotten Thy gifts, as if they had been of no benefit to me; and if by Thy grace I discovered what I had lost, and asked Thee to restore it, or grant me some other favor, Thou didst immediately give me all, as if it had been a deposit which I had entrusted to Thy keeping.
Besides these favors, Thou didst grant me others of the utmost value, especially on the day of Thy Nativity, the Sunday Esto mihi; and also another Sunday after Pentecost Thou didst elevate me, or rather Thou didst ravish me, to so close a union with Thyself, that I marvel more than at a miracle how I lived since then as a creature among creatures, and am even more amazed and even horrified, that I have not amended my faults as I was bound to do. Nevertheless, the fountain of Thy mercy has not dried up for me, O Jesus, of all lovers the most loving - or rather, the only One who loves the ungrateful truly and disinterested. For after a time, having forgotten my vileness, unworthy that I am, and having begun to disrelish those things which are the joy and praise of Heaven and earth - if it were only because an infinite God had abased Himself unreservedly toward a vile and abject worm - Thou, the Giver, Renovator and Preserver of every good - Thou didst arouse me from my torpor and excite me to gratitude by revealing to a certain person, who was very devout to Thee and familiar with Thee, some particulars of the gifts which Thou hast bestowed on me, which they could not have known by human means, since I had not revealed them to any human being, so that I heard from their lips what was only known to my secret heart.
As I recall these words and others, the glory of which is due to Thee alone, I will sing a canticle on a harmonious instrument, which is none other than Thy Divine Heart, by the virtue of the Spirit of consolation. Eternal Father, may all that is in Heaven, on earth or in the deep - may all things which have been, which are, or which will be - render Thee thanks and praise! Even as gold shines most clearly when surrounded by various colors - even as black appears darker by contrast with them - so is the blackness of my ungrateful life, when compared with the splendor of the Divine benefits so abundantly bestowed on me. For Thou couldst not grant any favors that were not commensurate with Thy royal liberality, I have only received them in my boorish ignorance, and as an unfortunate abuser of Thy graces. This Thou didst, as it were, dissimulate by an effect of Thy natural clemency, so that it appeared as if Thou never didst more for me than when I did least for Thee. And when Thou didst seek hospitality in my poor dwelling - Thou, Who reposest in the loving bosom of Thy celestial Father - I have been so negligent and so careless in entertaining Thee, that I should even from natural humanity, have been bound to tend a leper with more care who had asked a shelter under my roof after overwhelming me with outrages and injuries. Far, O Lord, Who adorned the stars with beauty - far from recognizing the graces Thou didst bestow on me - whether by filling me with interior consolation, or by imprinting on me Thy sacred Wounds, or by revealing to me Thy secrets, and even those of Thy friends, or by giving me marks of Thy friendship and tenderness greater than could have been found had the earth been traversed from east to west - I have been so ungrateful as to outrage Thee by despising these things, by seeking strange pleasures, and by preferring the bitterness of exterior things to the sweetness of Thy celestial manna. I have distrusted Thy promises, O God of truth, as if Thou wert a man who could lie, or fail in Thy fidelity!
Alas! I have also offended the goodness with which Thou hast heard my unworthy prayers so favorably by hardening my heart against Thy Will, and as I ought to declare with tears in my eyes, sometimes pretending not to understand Thy Will, lest the reproaches of my conscience should oblige me to obey it.
I have also despised the aid of Thy most glorious Mother, and that of the blessed spirits whom Thou hast sent to me; …