The Custodian

I am not the least if I'm the last,
safeguarding is beyond my scope,
I am here to judge only the past
and lambs? They’ll feed themselves I hope.

I want to give the Rock a shove,
push into depths where fishes stay
but I am no Peter: Peters love
and Peters grieve when they betray.

Kind to the world – I always stress,
no painful Word comes from my crook,
I guess I lost my Peterness
(Peters condemn and they rebuke).

Lord told me: Get behind Me Satan!
confused I went the other way,
called to be firm I go on shaken
where things of men look for the prey.

It seems I run my own custody:
I grid myself, walk where I need,
but then I wonder if my story
was written on some secret sheet.