A poem about abortion regret by Andrea Roncato

I would have liked you to be small, so I could hug you.

I would have liked you to be big, so I could lean on you.

I would have liked you to be looking out the window in winter, watching the snow begin to fall.

I would have liked you to be lying under the covers during a storm, silent so you could hear the sound of the rainfall.

I would have liked you to be kind to dogs, so you could pet them,

and affectionate with the elderly, so you could love them.

I would have liked you to be handsome, so I could brag about you,

with big eyes, like your mother’s.

I would have liked to sing to you, to make you fall asleep, and continue the dream that woke you up.

I would have liked you to be shy, so I could see you blush,

and stubborn, so I could argue with you.

I would have liked you to be at my side, so the two of us could walk in silence,

trying to understand what the other was thinking inside and couldn’t manage to say.

I would have liked to teach you all the things I don’t know how to do.

I would have liked you to leave someday, so I could have the pleasure of seeing you come back home.

I would have liked you to experience your first love.

I would have liked you near me on the day I must leave this world.

I wish I had wanted you, that time when I didn’t want you …