I'd like to know why this church keeps bottles of whiskey in the sacristy regardless of which cupboard it's in.

The explanation stinks, too. Somebody "got confused over the cupboards where the wine used for Mass was kept" Really? They can't tell the difference between a bottle labelled Gallo Brothers Wine and one branded as "Jack Daniels Whiskey". Or does the sacristan use the same cruets to store both? Either way, it's specious...