Francis' Way of the Cross: "Overwhelming Sense of Guilt"
1. “Jesus, I realise how little I know you, for I find it hard to understand your silence.”
2. “Jesus, we too have our crosses to bear. At times, they are heavy indeed: illness, an accident, the death of a dear one, disappointment in love, a child gone astray, a lost job, a hurt that will not heal, a failed project, the frustration of yet another hope.”
(The focus on "I", "my", "me" is omnipresent: “I unite my cross to thine, I bring thee my weariness and my cares, I cast upon thee every burden of my heart.”)
3. “I imagine that, as thou kissest the cold dry ground, thou thinkest of man, formed from the dust of the earth.” Francis prays for the “one thing that I need, and that is the ability to love [an ability, narcissists do not possess].”
4. About the mother, Francis says, “You see mirrored the tender love, the warm caresses and the loving embrace that surrounded and sustained thee from your earliest years.”
5. “How hard we find it to ask for help, lest we give the impression that we are not up to the task! What pains we take to put ourselves in the best light, to put on a good show!”
6. Francis decries false judgements, aspersions, mockery and condemnation. “without the need for a gruesome parade: all it takes is a keyboard to spew insults and condemnation” [a reference to the free Internet which Francis really hates].
7. The Cross bears “all the weight of disappointment, failure and humiliation”, “I realise this whenever I feel overwhelmed, beleaguered and misunderstood; when I am weighed down by the burdens of responsibility and work, when I find myself in the grip of anxiety and desperation.”
And, “There is nothing worse than self-remorse and the overwhelming sense of guilt.”
8. On the women of Jerusalem who cry for Christ: “Is my own prayer capable of tears? Am I moved as I gaze upon you, crucified for my sake, and contemplate your gentle, wounded love? Do I grieve for my hypocrisy and my infidelity?“
9. “I look at you, Jesus, stripped of your garments, and I realise that you are asking me to strip myself of so many unnecessary things.”
10. “Lord, it was not enough for you to forgive us; you also excused us before the Father: ‘for they do not know what they are doing’. You take our side, you become our advocate, you intercede on our behalf.”
11. “You did this [crying to God] for my sake, so that when I see only darkness, when I experience the collapse of my certainties and the wreckage of my life, I will no longer feel alone, but realise that you are there beside me.”
12. First words of the meditation about Christ's death are: “A criminal in Paradise!“
13. To the Mother of God: “As thou holdst the lifeless body of Jesus in your arms, you hear once more his last words to you: Behold your son. Mother, I am that son! Take me into your arms and tend my wounds.”
14. “It will truly be Easter if only I give something of myself to the One who gave his life for me.”
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