Matt Moore:

Did I once identify as gay? Sure. Have I departed from that lifestyle? Yes. Am I married to a woman? I am.
But do I call myself an "ex-gay"? No. And here are a few reasons why:
1. As a Bible-believing person, the only sexuality-signaling identifier I am comfortable embracing is my maleness. I am a male. A man! Hear me roa—just kidding. I see no other categories for sexuality in Scripture beyond biological sex. I don’t see straight people or gay people or bi people or pan people. I just see men and women with complementary designs. The biological sex God has assigned to me says everything anyone needs to know about who or what I am in terms of my sexuality. My sinful impulses toward the same sex are not who I am. However, they are an important element of my experience as a person.
2. That last bit contains my reason numero dos for rejecting the ex-gay label: I am still attracted* to the same sex. To my knowledge, this is true of most men who turn away from this immorality in obedience to the God of the Bible. Their temptations to engage in immoral same-sex behavior persist. But “ex-gay” strongly implies that the opposite is true—that one’s same-sex attractions have altogether ceased and been replaced with opposite-sex attractions. This has not been my experience, and I don’t want to imply that it has. In my opinion, that would not only be lying but would also be downplaying the power of God at work in my life and potentially minimizing the worth of Christ to me, making it look like I follow him because it's easy or he gives me everything I want. I don't follow Jesus because it's easy; I follow him because God sustains me despite my ongoing weakness. And I don't follow Jesus because he gives me everything I want right now (like to be rid of same-sex attraction); I follow Jesus because he is indescribably more valuable than anything that ever was or is or will be. He is worthy of being my whole reason for living, no matter what sacrifice or discomfort he requires of me right now.
*there are different degrees and kinds of attraction. One might be “attracted” to another’s wonderful personality. I am referring to the kind of attraction or impulses which the Bible describes as “dishonorable passions”(Romans 1:26)
3. I said in the last sentence of #1 that these thorny attractions are an important element of my experience. By important, I do not mean valuable. I just mean important. They have affected and afflicted me for the majority of my life; they were something I had to talk about extensively with my wife when we were dating and engaged; I've written about them for the past ten years as I’ve sought to help others see and relate to their same-sex attractions in a biblical way for God's glory and their joy. So yeah, they’re important! And because they are important, I want to talk about them in a thoughtful way. Saying I'm "gay" or "ex-gay" is too simplistic, in my opinion. My history with same-sex attraction, my present with same-sex attraction, and God's sanctifying work in my life concerning same-sex attraction require more than one or two syllables.