@Cecilia Lopez Yes, the defined dogma and truth that the Church is indefectible used to cause me deep disquiet and confusion, because that would seem to suggest that all the Modernist heterodoxy being poured out like an avalanche upon our souls deserves our credence and adherence.

Then one day I received a blinding light at Holy Mass (TLM) that what I was seeing in Rome was not the Catholic Faith, but an imposture by the Church's enemies which have invaded the Bosom of Holy Mother Church and obscured her spotless integrity of doctrine, like an "eclipse" -- an analogy used with great effect by Archbishop Vigano.

It brings to mind that which Saint Athanasius once said so beautifully for the comfort of the Faithful at the time the Arian heresy obscured the true Faith everywhere; whose words then, as even now, were a blessing midst the confusion -- a now present day reality which Archbishop Vigano often expounds upon with such lucidity.

I will paste the text of Saint Athanasius below, as it is so powerful and eloquent:

"May God comfort you. I know moreover that not only this thing saddens you, but also the fact that while others have obtained the churches by violence, you are meanwhile cast out from your places. For they hold the places, but you the Apostolic Faith.

They are, it is true, in the places, but outside of the true Faith; while you are outside the places indeed, but the Faith, within you. Let us consider whether is the greater, the place or the Faith. Clearly the true Faith. Who then has lost more, or who possesses more? He who holds the place, or he who holds the Faith?

Good indeed is the place, when the Apostolic Faith is preached there, holy is it if the Holy One dwell there. (After a little:) But ye are blessed, who by faith are in the Church, dwell upon the foundations of the faith, and have full satisfaction, even the highest degree of faith which remains among you unshaken.

For it has come down to you from Apostolic tradition, and frequently has accursed envy wished to unsettle it, but has not been able.

On the contrary, they have rather been cut off by their attempts to do so. For this is it that is written, ‘Thou art the Son of the Living God,’ Peter confessing it by revelation of the Father, and being told, ‘Blessed art thou Simon Barjona, for flesh and blood did not reveal it to thee,’ but ‘My Father Who is in heaven,’ and the rest.

No one therefore will ever prevail against your Faith, most beloved brethren. For if ever God shall give back the churches (for we think He will) yet without such restoration of the churches the Faith is sufficient for us.

And lest, speaking without the Scriptures, I should [seem to] speak too strongly, it is well to bring you to the testimony of Scriptures, for recollect that the Temple indeed was at Jerusalem; the Temple was not deserted, aliens had invaded it, whence also the Temple being at Jerusalem, those exiles went down to Babylon by the judgment of God, who was proving, or rather correcting them; while manifesting to them in their ignorance punishment [by means] of blood-thirsty enemies.

And aliens indeed had held the Place, but knew not the Lord of the Place, while in that He neither gave answer nor spoke, they were deserted by the truth. What profit then is the Place to them?

For behold they that hold the Place are charged by them that love God with making it a den of thieves, and with madly making the Holy Place a house of merchandise, and a house of judicial business for themselves to whom it was unlawful to enter there. For this and worse than this is what we have heard, most beloved, from those who are come from thence.

However really, then, they seem to hold the church, so much the more truly are they cast out. And they think themselves to be within the truth, but are exiled, and in captivity, and [gain] no advantage by the church alone. For the truth of things is judged…"

Very good, I've never read that before. Thank you for sharing. After much struggle and turmoil, I also had to come to the same conclusion. Besides, if the Church must undergo the Life and Passion of Christ, is it really that difficult to accept the She must also go through Holy Saturday, when Her Shepherd is nowhere to be found? Certainly a prolonged period of sedevacante is disturbing, but not impossible, as opposed to Peter and the Church teaching error, which is impossible. Former professor of Apologetics at St. Mary's in MD, Fr. Sylvester Berry, wrote in his Commentary on The Apocalypse of St. John:

"The beast arising from the earth is a false prophet — the prophet of Antichrist. Our divine Saviour has a representative on earth in the person of the Pope upon whom He has conferred full powers to teach and govern. Likewise Antichrist will have his representative in the false prophet who will be endowed with the plenitude of satanic powers to deceive the nations.

If Antichrist be of Jewish extraction, as he probably will, the sea from which he arises signifies Judaism. Then the earth whence comes the second beast is a symbol of the Gentile nations in revolt against the Church. The two horns denote a twofold authority — spiritual and temporal. As indicated by the resemblance to a lamb, the [false] prophet will probably set himself up in Rome as a sort of antipope during the vacancy of the papal throne mentioned above. But the elect will not allow themselves to be deceived; they will recall the words of our Lord: “Then if any man shall say to you: Lo here is Christ, or there, do not believe him.”
(Rev. E. Sylvester Berry, The Apocalypse of St. John [Columbus, OH: John W. Winterich, 1921], p. 135.)